Departments: In the Light Lane
The Generation Gap

In my kindergarten class, I held up an old LP record for the children to see. I asked the students to guess what this was. One little boy’s jaw dropped and he said, “Wow, that is the biggest CD I have ever seen!"

Derek Haroldson
Sauk City, Wisconsin

I’ll never forget my early years as an eighth grade earth science teacher. I was outside during lunch duty when a boy asked me, “What’s your favorite rock group?”

I wondered how he knew that I was thinking about rocks and minerals—we were getting ready to embark on just such a unit in my classes. Although I thought it odd to come up with a “favorite,” I opted to choose one. “Igneous is probably my favorite rock group,” I answered. “They are associated with volcanoes, that’s pretty exciting.”

The boy looked a bit puzzled. I asked, “Which rock group is your favorite?”

“KISS” he answered. When he turned and departed, I noted a picture of the make-up laden band members, KISS, on the back of his t-shirt.

I know that boy wondered what radio station I listen to.

Susan Oliver
Grand Rapids, Michigan

During Fire Prevention Week, our preschool class visited the fire station and discussed all the usual fire safety tips. A couple of weeks later, a parent told us that while starting to play some family card games such as Go Fish and Concentration, their son insisted that he could not play those games anymore. They were completely puzzled and when he was questioned his reply was, “Because our teachers said that we can’t ever play with matches.”

Carol Rasmussen
Waverly, Iowa

Each day after lunch, my second grade class has 30 minutes of DEAR (Drop Everything and Read). During this time, I let two students sit in bean bag chairs to read. It is the job of one student to announce the names of the “bean baggers” to the class at the beginning of DEAR. One day, she came up to me and asked, “Is it time for Drop Dead and Read?”

Glenn Coolong
Monson, Massachusetts

Students were assigned to write a report on an occupation of their choice. During the lesson, students were reminded about plagiarism and putting information in their own words. Well, one student took this to the extreme by explaining that “to be a lawyer, you have to pass the bar examination, which is a test where you drink alcohol and try to answer questions that someone asks!”

Debbie Sixel
Chilton, Wisconsin

My first graders had been studying the five senses for several days. I asked them to tell me one of the senses.

After a long pause and no answers, one boy raised his hand very enthusiastically. Good, I thought, at least one student had been learning something. In a very sincere voice, he said, “A sense of humor!”

Donna Neff
Lakin, Kansas

I was doing some diagnostic testing with my first graders and asked one little girl how old she was.

“Six,” she said.

“When will you be seven?” I asked.

“On my next birthday,” she replied.

“Do you know when that is?” I asked.

“No,” she said slowly, “but my last birthday was June 26!”

Annette Taulbee
Orcutt, California

A young colleague of mine amazed my fourth graders by bringing to class a freshly picked sunflower with a diameter well over 12 inches. Our students often enjoy chewing roasted sunflower seeds, but they never realized the source of those seeds.

After observing all the edible seeds lined up in circular patterns on the face of the sunflower, one student inquired, “What kind is it?”

Mrs. McCann replied, “Well, it’s a sunflower, of course.”

“I know that,” Vanessa quickly responded, “but is it barbecue or spicy?”

My colleague looked over to me, smiled and said, “I think it’s original flavored.”

Michael Szewczyk
Irvington, New Jersey

During the social studies lesson in a fourth grade classroom where I was a guest teacher, the classroom teacher had provided maps of the United States. The students were to label the map with the names of all 50 states. Most students needed individual assistance with the New England states. After I pointed out Vermont and New Hampshire to one boy, he smiled and said, “So, that’s where New Hamster is!”

Diane Sontag
Eugene, Oregon

I overhead an art student complaining about his very strict English teacher. He said, “She is so nitpicky she would turn the ‘R’ around in Toys Us!”

Margaret Ewert
LaCrosse, Wisconsin

It's Tomato, Not Tomato

Recently I was reading one-on-one with a first grade student who encountered the words “thank you” for the first time in print. Hoping she would use some of her newly learned reading strategies, I gave her plenty of time to work out the word herself. After a few moments, I decided to tell her the word “thank.” When she didn’t respond, I said more emphatically, “Thank.”

She responded, ‘I’m thanking, I’m thanking.” Needless to say, I’m from Tennessee!

Lisa Trewhitt Earby
Cleveland, Tennessee

One of my first graders proudly came up to me the other day with half a loaf of banana bread. He proudly announced, “Here is my homework.”

I was quite confused, so I asked him what assignment he meant. He replied, “It was to bring in a dessert I would like to share.” I explained that the homework assignment sheet said, “We are studying the desert. Please bring in something to share.” Now all my first graders know these two words.

Tonya Pagel
Brecksville, Ohio

I am an elementary school librarian. Kindergarten student Avery made a handmade card for me with a Dalmatian on the cover. Inside the card was a gift certificate to a local bookstore, because Avery wanted to make a little “Dalmatian” to the library.

PJ Charnofsky
Rolling Hills Estates, California

Got Laughs?

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