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Departments: In the Light Lane Recently, I was teaching a sixth grade class in which the following conversation took place: "Can anyone give an example of a preposition?" "To?" "That's right. Who can give another one?" "For?" "Very good! We've got the prepositions "to" and "for." How about one more example?" "Six?" "I'm sorry, but the number six is not a preposition." "But it's an even number just like two and four! Don Kendall One of my students came to me this morning and said, "Teacher, remember how I told you that my parents were arguing so much over the weekend? Well, I think everything is okay now because we had steak last night." Diana Delaney Several times a month I tutor in an after-school reading and math computer program. Recently, a third grader was having problems figuring out a reading comprehension question. Knowing I was nearby, he said aloud:"I wish I could use my 50/50 lifeline right now." Judy Rodecl During a social studies lesson, I was explaining to my class of fifth graders that President Washington rode a coach down the streets of New York City during his inaugural parade. Nick, one of my students, looked at me rather puzzled and asked, "Well, if he's President, why didn't he ride first class?" Denise Davis Our school was undergoing a year-long construction project. During the day, the man in charge of the project would frequently be called to the office to answer questions or make decisions. One day, I was walking in the corridor behind two fourth grade girls when I heard the familiar call over the PA system: "Jay Smith, please report to the office." One girl turned to her friend and said in a confiding tone, "He gets in trouble all the time!" Suzanne Dawson Obuchowski In my sixth grade language arts class, students write in journals every day. One day in September their topic was about Labor Day. One student wrote: "Labor Day is the day that you are most likely to have a baby or get pregnant. It's a day to celebrate." Sarah Nowack My fifth grade class was working on a page of various math skills as an assessment of prior knowledge. One of the questions asked the students to draw an acute angle. As I walked around the various groups of students, I noticed many students were drawing pictures of pretty angels. I asked one student what she was doing. She replied: "You wanted me to draw a cute angel, so I did!" Jill Venable Every fall our students wear tags pinned to their clothes, with their names and bus routes on them. The students are taken to the buses by our fourth and fifth graders, who take their jobs very seriously. But I did not realize how nervous they are about this responsibility until one of them ran into the office shouting: "Help! There is a kid out here without a price tag on!" Denise Alexandria After concluding a discussion on needs and wants with my first graders, they were asked to define needs and wants. One boy spoke up and said, "My mom tells me what I need and I tell my mom what I want!" Kathie Hutcheson In response to a journaling prompt, one sixth grade student wrote about a frightening experience while on a family vacation. Her younger brother was choking on a piece of candy while riding in the back seat of the car. Her father had to pull off the road and perform the "Heimlich Remover," saving her brother and the vacation. Karen Carland I was talking with a seventh grade student of mine about his art project when another student approached us and asked, "What does behold mean?" The student I had been talking with looked up and said, "You know, it's when they take the middle out of a doughnut." Carole Raymond Following a discussion, I asked my second graders to write something they had just learned about Abraham Lincoln. Mixing his famous speech and his funeral train one child stated that "Lincoln rode the Gettysburg Express!" Phyllis Boyajy In a small 7th grade English class, a selection included reference to a famous artist named Leonardo. The teacher, Mr. Sova, asked if anyone knew Leonardo's last name. Without hesitating, the students blurted out "DiCaprio." Jean Hyde, Aide During snack time one day, my fourth graders and I began a discussion about dried fruits, since I was eating raisins. I asked them if they knew what fruit raisins were before they were dried and they quickly answered, "Grapes!" I then asked, "Well then what do plums become?" One boy wasted no time shouting out "Plumbers!" Stephanie Lucci-May As part of the curriculum I was teaching kids how to express anger in healthy and appropriate way. We brainstormed different options. One student Ryan was stating some options. Miss Miller he responded - fight! I asked what's another option? Yell and scream? He replied. Okay, I said what about something else? I could hit something like a wall instead of the person. (I was feeling concerned:) What if, I said, we went for a run? I had previously explained the fight of flight response. He looked at me like I had two heads and said that will never work. About two weeks later I handed out progress reports. Ryan took a quick look and like a flash ran out the door. Before I could say anything he was running around the school building passing by the windowed door. The entire class at this point is glued to the window and, and of course, laughing and reminding me that I told him to run! The kids kept asking me if I thought he would come back? (I said many silent prayers that he would.) Which he did. Out of breath, he said, "Miss Miller, I knew I was going to say something bad to you so I thought it would be better to do what you said and run. Do you feel any better, I said. Yeah, I think I do he replied. Tarnya Miller As an elementary school nurse, I encounter some strange medical conditions. Students come to me suffering from "stripped throats" and "ammonia." A second grader once had a gum problem he called "ginger-bite-us." Then there was the third-grade girl who had an "platter infection", and the poor little boy who spun in circles until he was "disney." Sometimes the treatments are just as bizarre. A kindergarten boy told me that he had "tubas put in his ears" and I once saw a second grader who had to have his tonsils and "androids" removed. My personal favorite is the little girl with chapped lips who told me that her teacher wanted me to "gasoline" on them! Do you think the New England Journal of Medicine would have any advice for me? Julia Chorle A kindergartner, Darsan, was late to school one day. When his teacher asked why he replied emphatically: "I had to finish my dream!" Another day, when asked how school was today, Darsen replied "It was Sarah's birthday!" Primary age children get very excited about these events. When his mother said, "Tell her I say happy birthday," he replied (in the tone of "Isn't it obvious?"):"She already knows!" Sincerely, As my 12th grade English students search for pieces of literature for their literary portfolio, they have to find a piece of prose. One of my students wrote in her progress log the difficulty she was having in finding her "pros." I responded by saying that she would probably also have difficulty finding her "cons"! She replied, "I have to find one of those too?" Constance L. French A group of third graders was brainstorming names of predatory animals. Lions and tigers were mentioned and then leopards. One student looked rather confused. "Andy," I asked, "do you know what leopards are?" "Oh, sure," he said, "they come out around St. Patrick's Day." Mary Milton After reading the "Rapunzel" story to my fifth grade ESL students, I asked: "What's the moral of the story?" One of the girls quickly replied: "Not to have long hair." Alina Jakubowska, I asked one of my first graders what was missing at the end of his sentence. He innocently told me, "A pyramid." Lucy Hansen I was teaching verb tenses to my second graders, explaining the past, present, and future tenses. "The past is what has already happened, such as eating your breakfast and morning recess," I explained. "The present is right now; what's happening at this moment. The next tense is about what's going to happen. Does anyone know what we call what's going to happen next?" "I know," said Dean. "Lunch!" Tara Western Got Laughs?
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