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Departments: In the Light Lane For weeks, we had read the book and watched stellar cinematic performances by Brock Peters and Gregory Peck. We discussed, acted out short parts, and wrote about the story. I was thrilled at how much my students loved one of my favorite literary works. Then the papers were collected and the class left. As I thumbed through the stack of papers, my feathers fell. There before my widened eyes was the following title: "How To Kill a Mockingbird." Anne Marie Duncan While grading one of my quarterly reading theme tests, I stumbled across an unexpected answer. The question dealt with a short story about a human family that feeds a deer family during the cold winter months. The question prompted, "Tell how children's beds are different from fawns' beds." One of my second grade students wrote, "Fawns' beds are made from sticks and leaves, and children's beds are made in China." Michael J. Kuenzel One of my kindergarten children has been in foster care for quite some time. She announced that she was going to be adopted. One of her classmates asked what "adopted" means. Her reply: "Let me tell you about it. A judge sits at this great big high desk. He asks the people that want to adopt you, 'Do you want this kid?' The people say, 'Yes, we do!' The judge says, 'Is that your final answer?' Then you are adopted!" Devon Hamner As a teacher, you never know where your influence begins and ends. Teaching for 33 years, I have had many joyous and stressful times--and now have a lot of gray and silver hair crowning my head. One little girl with a beautician for a mother told me she was going to get a new haircut. Later I found out she had told her mom she wanted her hair short like Mrs. Plager's silver! There's not enough money in the world to buy a tribute like that. Carla Plager One morning, one of my fourth graders seemed to be consistently ignoring my directions. Exasperated, I asked him to look at Rule #1, posted in our classroom. The rule says: "Follow directions the first time." I asked him to read it out loud three times. He read it out loud. Four times. Stephen Campbell My third grade class had been studying Washington, D.C., citizenship, and government. One period, we were reviewing some of the things we had been learning. I asked the question, "Who would be next in line if something happened to both the President and the Vice President?" When I called on one of my students whose hand was enthusiastically waving, he answered confidently, "the talker of the house." Susan DeVos A couple of years ago, I was teaching a class of kindergartners a math lesson. One of the more outgoing students, Erin, shouted out what I was about to say next. "Oh my goodness, Erin!" I said. "You just read my mind!" Beaming, she replied, "And I don't even know how to read yet!" Leah Benis One of my ninth grade students brought me his weekly report to sign. I put down that he had an 83 percent and was doing fine and signed my initials, MEA. The student picked up his report and looked it over. With a puzzled face, he asked me what he was missing. I checked and told him he had all the assignments in, and I asked why he thought he was missing any. That's because, he explained, I kept putting "MEA" on his reports. I told him that those were just my initials. He chuckled. He had thought my initials meant "missing every assignment." Marcia Alexander Several years ago, my third graders were learning plurals. We had gone over the rules thoroughly, including many examples such as child becomes children and goose becomes geese. I emphasized that there's no such word as "mouses." The students had completed several practices quite well, so I felt confident they would excel on the final test. I have never forgotten one answer on that test. George wrote that the plural of mouse is rats! Lillian C. Biddulph At the beginning of each school year, I like to ask my first graders why they think I'm a physical education teacher. They haven't seen me make a basket, hit a ball, or jump a rope, and I want to establish early on that I'm a PE teacher because of interest and skill. Some of the responses I've gotten: "You have three kids to feed!" "They ran out of classrooms!" "The principal made you!" Marie Lyons While grading one of my quarterly reading theme tests, I stumbled across a humorous answer. The question dealt with a short story about a human family that feeds a deer family during the cold winter months. The question prompted, "Tell how children's beds are different from fawns' beds." One of my second grade students wrote, "Fawns' beds are made from sticks and leaves, and children's beds are made in China." Michael J. Kuenzel One of my 8th grade physical education students was unable to participate due to a wrestling injury. The doctor's note excused him "until further notice." Finally, in early April, after several weeks of his chomping at the bit to rejoin class, I asked him if he had been back to the doctor lately so he could play. He answered "Didn't I tell you? I was there a week ago and he wrote that I could come back to class in May! I'll go get the note!" He then handed me the doctor's note, which read "MAY RETURN TO PHY. ED." When I explained it to him, he excitedly said, "I'll go get changed!" Marilyn Rogers A few years ago, when Michael Jordan was still playing basketball, there was a student who was a big Jordan fan. He was busy working on his geography assignment dealing with the Middle East when he leaned back on his chair and said to me, "Mr. Greig, Michael Jordan is so great they named a river after him." I let him continue with his work. He leaned back again a few minutes later and said, "He is greater than I thought! They named a river and a country after him." Jeff Greig During our calendar time in my kindergarten class, I asked one of my students what day it was yesterday. He replied, "I don't know, but can I ask the audience?" The whole class broke out in laughter. It just goes to show you how much the game show "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" is part of our society. Anne Folkerds One of my kindergarten children has been in foster care for quite some time. She announced that she was going to be adopted. One of her classmates asked what "adopted" means. Her reply: "Let me tell you all about it. A judge sits at this great big high desk. He asks the people that want to adopt you, 'Do you want this kid?' The people say, 'Yes, we do!' The judge looks at them and says 'Is that your FINAL ANSWER?' Then you are adopted!!!" Devon Hamner As we were watching a Friday afternoon video, a student got up and headed toward me. I looked up and said, "Do not ask me to leave this room." As he turned around to go to his seat, one of my little 3rd graders said, "Mrs. McConnell! You're psycho!" I told her that some days I feel that way, but usually I'm just psychic. Kelly McConnell After studying the Statue of Liberty as part of our unit on immigration, I read my fourth grade students Emma Lazarus's famous poem, "The New Colossus." We then discussed the poem's meaning at great length. As a culminating activity, I assigned my students to make up a new title for the poem based on what they had learned. One of my students, obviously greatly influenced by today's computer age, submitted, "Welcome! You've got freedom!" Claire Heifech For my second grade class, I wrote several compound words on the board and some words that were just two syllables. We had spent some time distinguishing the difference between the two. Then I told the students to look at the word "com-pound." Was this a compound word? Several hands went up. The student I called on assured me that "compound" was indeed a compound word. I asked him what were the two smaller words in "compound." "Com and pound," he replied. I promptly asked this student how he would use "com" in a sentence. "You, know," he said confidently, "dot com." April Wilsey One day as I was talking with a student who was working on the computer in my classroom, he commented that his math teacher's computer talked to him. When I asked him what the computer said, my student replied, "Don't forget to turn around." What he meant was, "Don't forget to back up"! Pamela E. Fisher While grading one of my quarterly reading theme tests, I stumbled across a humorous answer. The question dealt with a short story about a human family that feeds a deer family during the cold winter months. The question prompted, "Tell how children's beds are different from fawns' beds." One of my second grade students wrote, "Fawns' beds are made from sticks and leaves, and children's beds are made in China." Michael J. Kuenzel Got Laughs?
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