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Departments: In the Light Lane After 30 years of teaching and giving many multiple-choice tests, I've had a first this week. While grading a multiple-choice test, I noticed one of my sixth graders had marked several correct answers and then erased them and marked the wrong answers. I took the student aside and asked why he changed all his correct answers. "I read the directions and it said to mark the letter before the correct answer." Maybe my directions should have said to mark the letter in front of the correct answer! Georgianna Morrison This brilliant observation, made during a discussion in my middle school social studies class, cracked me up. We were discussing Roman emperors. I mentioned that Caligula had once asked the Roman senate to elect his favorite horse as a consul of Rome. One seventh grader remarked that he thought that having a horse for a leader might be pretty cool. "That won't work," another student said. "Nothing would ever get done." And why not? "No laws would ever be passed," the student explained, "because the horse would only vote nay. You know, neigh?" John Kaale I was passing out study guides to my sophomore English class. When I handed one to a young man in the front seat, he told me that he could not take one. When I asked him why, he told me that he doesn't accept handouts! Joyce Lovas I was introducing myself as the substitute in a third-grade class, and mentioned that I had a baby granddaughter. I was flattered when a student said, "You don't look old enough to be a grandmother." The deflation came during a social studies unit on Washington, D.C. when I mentioned that I had been born there. The same student raised his hand and asked, "Were you there when James Madison rebuilt the White House?" Laura Foote I am retired, but I'd like to send along several remembrances from my years in the classroom. During recess, one of my students ran up to give my middle a big hug. She gushed on about how wonderful I was. Then the final compliment: "And you are fat just like my mother!" And one more. My multilanguage students were learning English as well as the usual lessons. Part of my plan was to have them use their vocabulary words in sentences of their own. This gave them practice with their handwriting skills, as well as their skill in use of the English language. One word from their reading was spaniel. One student wrote, "I speak Spaniel." Marjorie Sherrill As a special education teacher, I would usually start the morning with general knowledge "questions of the day." Students loved this activity because if they got the answer right, they got a small tootsie roll. One day my question was, "Who knows who invented the first airplane?" Everyone looked at me with blank stares. Slowly one of my fourth graders raised his hand. "I think I know Mrs. Fagerman. Was it the Wrong Brothers?" Marlene Fagerman On a field trip to a natural science museum, our group of second graders toured the exhibits, discussing what we saw with the wonderful guide. As we neared a brand new model of an herbivore dinosaur, the guide explained to the children that this dinosaur was a "weed-eater." One little girl proudly piped up, "My daddy uses one of those every week when he mows the yard!" Karen Pollard My first-grade class has been learning how to count money, starting with pennies. I was going to show the students two different ways to write money, so I first put a cents sign on the board and asked what it meant. Everyone quickly responded, "A cents sign!" I then put a dollar sign on the board and asked if anyone knew what it meant. There was a slight hesitation, then suddenly one little girl raised her hand and confidently responded, "It means you're rich!" Patti Sabo In art class, I was showing students how to draw portraits using a pencil. Impressed, one fourth-grade girl asked, "Mr. Lee, how come you draw so good?" "Because I have a bachelor's degree in art education," I answered. "So when do you get a 'married' degree?" she asked in reply. Abraham Lee The Digital AgeMy math class was doing a unit on reading electric meters. Some students had trouble reading the dials. I asked the school janitor where the electric meter for the school was, so I could take my class down and show this meter's dials to them. I had each student take a paper and pencil to document the dial reading for a quiz grade. The students approached the meter, then were surprised to find that the meter sported a digital readout! Greta Morris We were working on column addition, and I wrote four numbers in a vertical column and asked where I should put the plus sign. One of the girls raised her hand and said, "Put it next to the last dead-end"--not addend. Linda Vitale A colleague of mine, a kindergarten teacher, was completing her report card assessment, so she allowed the students to watch an alphabets and numbers tape by Sesame Street. The teacher, Mrs. Lucas, paused the tape and went to the TV where she pointed to the Cookie Monster and asked if anyone knew who he was. Several students raised their hands. Mrs. Lucas called on a little boy, who replied, "I know who that is--it's Elmo--he just changed suits and clothes." Ursula McDonald In art class, I was showing students how to draw portraits using a pencil. Impressed, one fourth grade girl asked, "Mr. Lee, how come you draw so good?" I answered, "Because I have a bachelor's degree in art education." Then she asked, "So when do you get a 'Married' degree?" Abraham J. Lee Got Laughs? |
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