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    Departments: In the Light Lane
    Those Tropical Diseases

    After teaching a geography unit on latitude and longitude, I gave my fourth graders a quiz.

    In response to the question "What are the two Tropic Lines called?" one student replied: "The Tropic of Cancer, and the Tropic of Lung Disease."

    Bill Waste
    Lyme, New Hampshire

    One of my first graders was on the floor reaching under a movable cart that was against the wall. When I asked him what he was doing, he told me he was trying to get his tooth out from under the cart.

    I rolled the cart out for him. As he retrieved the tooth, I asked him how it got under the cart. He grinned, revealing the new space where the tooth had been, and said, "I shot it with a rubber band."

    Marcia Homer
    Port Angeles, Washington

    During a speech session with one of my very active third grade students, we played a game to practice his speech.

    I noticed he was looking ahead to the direction cards and was very excited when he appeared to know what each one said before I read it.

    Playing along, I asked the child how he could possibly know everything I was going to ask him to say. With a huge smile he replied, "That's easy. I'm psycho!"

    Cathy Donohoe
    Rochester Hills, Michigan

    During a recent math unit, I instructed my students to do the work in their heads.

    When it came time for the test, I had one child who answered all of the questions except the mental math section. I, of course, marked those problems as incorrect.

    When going over the test results the following day, he said, "But Mrs. Heller, you said that we weren't to write anything down on paper after doing them in our heads!" (I guess I neglected to make a big deal over at least printing the answer on the line provided!)

    Sandy Heller
    Oak Park, Michigan

    I was reviewing the exploits of Nathaniel Bacon with one of my students who had completed a timeline assignment about this 18th-century Virginia colonist.

    The student had dutifully filled in the dates that Nathaniel Bacon had led uprisings against the Native Americans, been jailed, freed, and subsequently burned buildings in Jamestown.

    I knew we needed more review when he asked, with a puzzled look on his face, "But how did a pig do all of that?"

    Nancy Heitz
    Darien, Connecticut

    I find that I am constantly explaining the meanings of sayings and idioms to the high school participants in my vocational class.

    We recently talked about the meaning of "being a guinea pig" when we decided to try a new technique on one of our projects.

    I was sure that the saying was understood. But when we needed volunteers for a new activity a few weeks later, one of my students anxiously asked, "Patty, can I be the gerbil?"

    Patty Schoff
    Anoka, Minnesota

    One morning during reading group, my students and I were reviewing the parts of a book, such as the table of contents.

    One of my students told me that he'd told his mom what one of the parts of the book was, but she said he was wrong. I asked him what part of the book he'd been talking about. He pointed to the table of contents and said, "I tried to tell her--it's the table of consequence."

    Misty Holloway
    Knoxville, Tennessee

    While doing vision screening on a second grade class, I suspected that one of the students might be having problems with her vision.

    I asked her if she was having trouble reading the board when she was sitting at her desk. She replied, "Only when the teacher stands in the way!"

    Deloris Luetchford, CSN
    Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

    Each day my fifth grade students complete daily language activities. One day, they had to make corrections to a sentence that should read: "The builders just finished work on Herman's house."

    The apostrophe in "Herman's" had been omitted. When I asked for a volunteer to make the correction, a male student changed the sentence to: "The builders just finished work on her mans house."

    Jennifer Zais
    Westernport, Maryland

    I was showing my first grade music students a repeat sign and asked if they knew what the sign meant.

    One little pianist pointed to the double barline next to the repeat sign and said that shows it's the end of the piece. I told the student he would be right--except that there were two dots with it, and they meant to do something else.

    I asked if anyone knew what the dot sign meant they should do. One cute little girl raised her hand and said sweetly, "It means to bow."

    Jan Stewart
    Chardon, Ohio

    Just before Thanksgiving, my first graders and I were reading a story about the Pilgrims and Indians which led to a discussion about heritage. Several students commented that they were part Indian when one little boy raised his hand and said, "I'm half Indian" to which I replied, "Is that right?" With a big smile he said, "Yes, and half cowboy."

    Betty Diuguid
    Jerseyville, Illinois

    During the holidays, I decided to sing Christmas songs and have the children fill in the missing words. I began, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer had avery shiny nose, and if youever saw it ..."

    Little Avery's eyes lit up. She jumped up and down with her hand in the air, so I called on her. She finished, "You would even say it blows!"

    Anna Gross
    Richland, Michigan

    On the last day of school before the holiday break, my fifth grade students were taking a social studies test. After I pass out the test, I always put an extra credit question on the board.

    This time I wrote: "On the ninth day of Christmas, what did my true love give to me?"

    One student raised his hand and said, "How are we supposed to know what your husband gave you for Christmas?"

    Joanne Gallagher
    Lena, Illinois

    As an elementary school librarian, I was often called upon to help students find appropriate books.

    One day, a young girl asked my help in finding an animal book.

    As we checked out the different books, she confided to me, "Someday, when I grow up, I want to be a vegetarian."

    Sue Luxa
    Littleton, Colorado

    Got Laughs?

    • Have a funny school story, anecdote, or vignette you'd like to share with other NEA members? You can send contributions to "In the Light Lane," NEA Today, 1201 16th St., N.W., Washington, DC 20036. Fax: 202/822-7206. Send E-mail to neatoday@nea.org.

    • Want a classroom chuckle delivered to your E-mail box once a week? Subscribe to the new "In the Light Lane" mailing list. Just send an E-mail to join-lightlane@list.nea.org (no subject or message needed).


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