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We had several days of below zero degree weather. The wind chill factor made it too cold for the students to go out for recesses.

One day a second grade student asked her teacher, "Just where is this wind chill factory anyway?"

Ardana Bruns
Madison, South Dakota

One of my mother's kindergarten students was in the process of completing a language activity and was stumped by a word.

He asked, "How do you spell punna?"

"Use it in a sentence," my mom said.

Her budding novelist replied, "You know, like in once a punna time..."

Brenda Nero
Patterson, New Jersey

I was teaching a spelling lesson to some first graders and for homework, they were to write a sentence using each spelling word.

One of the spelling words was the word "fair." You can imagine my surprise the next day when I read one young boy's sentence using this word.

It read, "My neighbor is having a fair with somebody else's wife." I realized I needed to do a quick vocabulary lesson for the word "fair."

We tend to forget just how much our little ones pick up from the world around them.

Pam Starratt
St. Augustine, Florida

While getting ready to write Valentine's Day letters to veterans, I asked my class if anyone knew what a veteran was. One of my students eagerly responded, "It is someone who doesn't eat meat."

Christopher Manfredi
Ludlow, Massachusetts

For a week, my first and second graders were presenting science projects on ocean animals that they had completed at home. Each child showed their hard work, read their report aloud, and talked about how they made their project.

It was quite clear how proud they were as they stood in front of the class. To wind up each presentation, the student presenting could ask for questions or comments.

One of my rather active but hard working second grade boys couldn't wait to present.

It was finally his turn and he did a wonderful job sharing all he had learned. It was especially evident how proud he was when he finished his presentation by asking his classmates if they had any "questions or compliments."

Adrienne Noel
Gilsum, New Hampshire

It was the beginning of a new school year, and I hadn't yet learned the names of the new kindergarten students. I wasn't even sure how many were in the class. So when they had all come into the library and gotten settled, I asked, "Is anyone absent today?"

The students stared at me with polite puzzlement, and I rephrased my question. "Is there anyone who is not here today? Anyone who came to school before who didn't come today?"

Agnes replied for the whole group, "Well, Thomas ain't here. But he's sick--he ain't absent."

Ann Taylor
Ashland, Montana

While substitute teaching, I became aware of a child's absence due to a recurrence of head lice.

Apparently, the students were aware of this, and a little concerned, too. One little boy looked up at me and asked me to check him for "head lights."

Ann Hair
Apex, North Carolina

I was working with an eighth grade student, Joel, on a report about President Andrew Jackson. One of his sources stated that Jackson was admitted to the bar in 1787. I asked Joel, "And what does that mean?" Joel paused for a moment and then said, "He was allowed to drink?" I chuckled, and then proceeded to explain the definition of "the bar" in this sentence.

Alicha Kutz
Hamburg, Pennsylvania

While teaching kindergarten a few years back, we were having a social studies lesson about our community.

We began talking about the firemen, police, mail carriers, etc. This soon developed into a discussion about jobs and occupations in general. In the middle of everyone sharing what their moms and dads did for a living, little Homero raised his hand and asked, "Se?ora, do you work?"

Corinne Drew
Buffalo Grove, Illinois

My fourth grade class was studying the water cycle. During one discussion, we were exploring the concept that wind speeds up evaporation. I asked the question, "If you rolled up your car window on a wet sock and let it flap outside in the breeze as you drove home, what would your sock be by the time you got home?"

Hoping for the answer of "dry," I called on one future scientist.

He excitedly answered, "Gone!"

Virginia Eddington
Kaysville, Utah

This was related to me by Kim Stein, an aide in one of our classes:A student in awe of a college text for English 101 said, "Gee Ms. Stein, you are in English 101 and I am only in English 10."A student walked into math class and said I bet we are going to have a test today. The instructor said, "you must be clairvoyant." The student replied, "No, I'm Claire Smith. I don't know who Claire Voyant is."

Michelle Gittens
Chesterfield, Virginia

While substitute teaching in a special education classroom, I became aware of a child's absence due to a reccurrance of head lice. Apparently, the studentswere aware of this and a little concerned too. One little boy looked up at me and asked me to check him for "head lights".

Ann Hair
Apex, North Carolina

I was working with an eighth grade student, Joel, on a report about President Andrew Jackson. One of his sources stated that Jackson was admitted to the bar in 1787. I aked Joel, "And what does that mean?" Joel paused for a moment and then said, "He was allowed to drink?" I chuckled, and then proceeded to explain the definition of "the bar" in this sentence.

Alicha A. Kutz
Hamburg, PA

I pulled a pop quiz on my grade four geography class in Helsinki, Finland. I asked the children to name an imaginary line of latitude or longitude and describe its location. I have saved this answer and I quote: "The Arctic Circle is the very top imaginary circle on the globe. Beyond that it is very cold. Even though the Arctic Circle is imaginary, there are enormous signs that tell you you're there."

Nancy Mutty
Nashua, NH

Being a jr. high home ec. Teacher for 32 years has afforded many unusual experiences. One in particular stands out. Observing the students progress as they prepared pancakes from scratch I happened upon one group deligently stirring the batter in a metal bowl--on the gas range. With my hair standing on end I asked "what are you doing?!" The seventh graders quickly responded "the recipe said HEAT until smooth." I instructed the young cooks they had mis-read the directions--"Beat until smooth!"

Janie Kocman
Flossmoor, IL

During a recent 5th grade girls Basketball game, I asked one of my players "Laura, do you know who you are guarding?" Her response - "no she didn't tell me yet"

John Dimond
Jefferson, WI

On the first day of school, I always share the benefits of my class with my 7th grade English students. One of the things I tell them is that by the end of the year they will be better grammarians.

My principal popped in on the first day to welcome back the students, and I asked the class to tell him some of the benefits we had discussed. One young man quickly raised his hand and announced, "By the end of the year, will be better barbarians!"

Mary E. Duncan
Erie, PA

I am a band director in a K-8 school. Beginning band starts in firth grade. This year I have a fifth grade boy who started to learn trumpet. After the first semester, they promoted him to sixth grade. This changed his schedule and when fifth grade band met, was his lunch.

He then started coming with the 6th, 7^th and 8th graders. As his is still at beginning level, he warms up with the rest of the band, then sits to read along with the trumpet music. The other day, he had finished warming up with the band and then I asked him to "watch the trumpet part". Well, later I notice him holding up one of the slides of his trumpet. I didn't think much of it at the time. A few minutes later, he says, "This is boring." I look at him and ask him "What is boring?" He replied "Watching the trumpet part!" The entire band and I started laughing. Next time I'll have to say "Follow along with the trumpet music!"

Susan Kouts
Phoenix, AZ

My first year teaching I had a student who liked to pretend his desk was a car and "drive" it around the room. He would usually stop when I asked him to, but after a few days I decided to see if I could get him to not do it at all. The next day when he came in and sat down, I stood in front of him, put both hands on his desk, looked him in the eye, and said "please don't drive your desk around the room today." He said "O.K." and kept his word the whole hour. For several weeks, I asked him each day not to drive his desk, and each day he would say ok, and there would be no desk driving. However, if I forgot to ask, he'd be off to the races, and I'd have to be sure to remember the next day.

Eventually a day came that I'll never forget. As usual, I asked him at the beginning of class "please don't drive your desk around the room today." Instead of his usual ok, he looked at me totally straight faced and said "I can't drive it today. I dropped the transmission."

Trying to keep a straight face myself, I said "well, please don't take it in and get it fixed." He said "O.K." We never had another desk driving incident the whole year!

Michelle Allmendinger
Galesburg, IL

After a semester of reading mostly lackluster spelling sentences I challenged my fourth graders to use their spelling words in a way that showed they understood the meanings. The quality of writing improved, but the prize for effort had to go to this sentence for the word better:

"Better is what is more good than worse."

Judith Heying
South Bend, IN

The Bear Facts

My principal was observing me during a recent Reading Recovery lesson with one of my first graders. When the time came for her new book introduction, I was trying to give Sammy as much control as possible, encouraging her to make predictions for The Three Bears.

"Where do you think they're going?" I encouraged Sammy to predict. "Out to get ice!" she answered. My principal and I both burst into laughter!

Sharon Liszczak
Manville, New Jersey

My second graders and I had just begun a unit on dino-saurs. While discussing the different types of teeth dino-saurs had, they surmised that the herbivores ate plants and the carnivores ate meat. When I asked them what the omnivores ate, one little girl replied, "Seafood."

Susan Brand
South Hadley, Massachusetts

My eighth grade class was discussing where and how clothes are constructed. I had them read about sweatshops and conditions under which clothing may be made.

At the end of the unit, we took a quiz. My question to the students asked what sweatshops are and why we should be concerned about them.

One eighth grade student wrote on his quiz that sweatshops are places where people put on sweats and run around!

Jeanne Magliaro
Hillsborough, New Jersey

My second graders and I had just begun a unit on dinosaurs. While discussing the different types of teeth dinosaurs had, they surmised that the herbivores ate plants and the carnivores ate meat. When I asked them what the omnivores ate, one little girl replied, "Seafood."

Susan Brand
South Hadley, MA

Got Laughs?

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