In the Light Lane
Line of Reasoning

On a test I asked the students to define a sentence. One student wrote the following:"A sentence is a line with a subject and verb on it."

Odessa Cleveland-Brown
Canoga Park, California

In one recent fifth and sixth grade social studies class, we were discussing explorers and their routes. One insightful student asked me if I thought people in this era of history were smarter than people in recent history or even today. I responded by telling the class that I believed you could place certain individuals in any place in history and they would be smart. One of the examples I used was Einstein. After finishing my example, another student shouted out,"Einstein was real?"

Don Lipinski
Wyandotte, Michigan

In my 40 years of teaching, here is the "excuse" I have never forgotten.

A ninth grade boy presented to me an admittance-to-class slip to be signed by all his teachers after his previous day's absence. Following "Reason for Absence," he had written, "I stayed home in bed all day. Bad horoscope."

Geraldine Pratt
Murray, Utah

We had one more day of school before the big holiday break began. "For tomorrow," I said, right before the dismissal bell, "bring in the first line of a Christmas carol."

The next morning, the students arose and read their first lines, "Silent Night, Holy Night," one began, "Hark the Herald Angels Sing," went the next one and so on. Finally, we got to one seventh grade boy who had been fidgeting and fumbling through computer-generated papers since we began.

"When you said bring the first line of 'A Christmas Carol'," he began, "I wasn't sure if you meant the play or the novel, so I typed in 'Charles Dickens' and looked up both."

Linda Maxwell
Richmond, Kentucky

Here is a little story that happened in one of my students' trumpet lesson.

As an elementary music teacher, I often talk with my band students about proper ways to play their instruments.

I stress posture, breath support, and embouchure in order to get a full tone.

One of my six grade trumpet students was having problems with the sound coming from his instrument. I explained to him that part of the problem may be caused by the old, dented school trumpet he was using, and part of the problem may be his breath. He looked at me with a serious expression and said, "Well... I TRY to brush every day!"

Kari Weness
Bellingham, Minnesota

My kindergarten nephew came home exclaiming about his exciting day of school.

"School was so much fun today!" he beamed. Intrigued that he found something positive about his educational experience, the teacher in me prodded him for details.

"Oh boy! What did you do?" I asked.

"We didn't do anything," he explained. "We had a prostitute teacher!" he said with a smile. With phone in hand, ready to call that school and give them a piece of my mind, I asked him to repeat himself.

"We had a prostitute teacher," he said slowly pronouncing every word carefully. "Our regular teacher wasn't there today, so we had a prostitute teacher instead." I thought a moment, returned the phone to its handle, and explained with a smile, "Not prostitute, honey, SUBSTITUTE!"

Raeshay Duncan
Chesapeake, Virginia

In eighth grade earth science class I spent a fair amount of time explaining to my students the cause of the earth's seasons and what dates the seasons changed. Later in the school year, to check the students' power of recall, I asked the following extra credit question on a test: "Today, in Nebraska, what season is it?" The date being December 7th, the correct answer was "autumn," since winter doesn't start until later in the month. Imagine my surprise when one young scholar answered, "'tis the season to be jolly." She received the extra credit.

This happened last December.

Darrell Pernicek
Hastings, Nebraska

As Room Mother of my daughter's second-grade class in Fairfax County, Virginia, I was one of the chaperones on a field trip to the National Art Museum in Washington.

The teacher had spent time preparing the children for the various pictures and sculptures they would be viewing, and when we arrived, they were ready! The docent led them from picture to picture, and at each one, the children would sit on the floor while she enlightened them and asked questions. The adults were pleased with the answers, which indicated that the teacher had them all primed for the trip?until we stopped in front of one of the "Madonnas." The guide noted that Mary was wearing a blue dress and a red robe and asked if anyone could explain why. Uh-oh, this bit of information had been overlooked in their preparation; they sat on the floor in silence!

After a long minute, one little fellow raised his hand. "Yes?" said the guide with excitement in her voice.

"The blue is for heaven and the red is for hell?"

Not the right answer, but a good guess!

Lena Ruth Nease
Gainesville, Georgia

All in a Day's Work

During a recent math lesson, my first grade students were examining pennies with magnifying glasses. We examined the "heads" side and they related all the letters they could see and Abraham Lincoln. I told them to turn the penny over and tell me what they see. Most of them started calling out, "I see a house!"

"Ms. Sabo! There's a naked man in the house!" I tried to explain that it was a statue of Abraham Lincoln they were seeing, but all the children were frantically using their magnifying glasses, hoping to see what their classmate had seen. Now, whenever we refer to pennies, someone almost always says, "You mean the one with the naked man on the back?"

Patti Sabo
Bernalillo, New Mexico

One especially personal recollection of my 30+ years teaching occurred about 15 years ago near the beginning of that school year.

Walking my third grade class to lunch, I arrived at the cafeteria along with a class of first graders led by their teacher's aide, holding the hand of a little girl who was at the head of the line. The girl and I exchanged smiles and pleasantries, after which the aide, knowing that I taught older children commented, "She's a wonderful student. Just wait until you have her."

He looked puzzled when I quipped, "Have her? I HAD her!" Until I explained, "She's my daughter."

Anise Harkey
Santa Monica, California

I teach mathematics. Our geometry book starts the year off with proofs.

I began class by saying, "Today we are going to discuss the difference between a theorem and a corollary. Find your thinking caps and put them on!" One student quickly raised his hand.

"How can I help you?" I asked. The student responded, "We are not allowed to wear caps in school!"

Michelle Egr
Schuyler, Nebraska