In the Light Lane
Getting An Ear Full

In my classroom in November, I asked the students to write themselves a note on a small piece of paper to bring to school a small bowl and spoon. I then asked the students to be sure to put the note in a safe place. On the day they were needed, Michael was the only child who had forgotten to bring his bowl and spoon. In January, Michael began complaining about having an earache. I called his mother and informed her of the situation. The next day Michael returned to school and seemed just fine. Michael's mom came in after school to talk about what happened at the doctor's office. When Michael's ear was flushed with water, out came wax, and embedded in the wax was a small piece of paper. When the doctor opened the paper it read, "Remember to bring a small bowl and spoon."

Nancy Celebrezze
Medina, Ohio

During a review in my sixth grade social studies class for a test on ancient Egypt, I asked my students where Egyptians got most of their food. Confusing the ancient Egyptian society with other ancient cultures we'd studied, students began calling out answers such as hunting, trading, gathering, etc. I reminded them of the importance of the Nile River to the Egyptians, hoping one of my students would remember that the annual flooding made farming possible, thereby providing food. After my hint, Bryan excitedly began waving his hand in the air. "Kelp!" he said loudly. "They ate kelp." Not sure at this point whether to laugh or cry, I simply said, "Isn't that seaweed?" and quietly moved on to a different topic.

Stefanie Carbone
East Hartford, Connecticut

School psychologists often work in several different school buildings, so we rarely get to know all the students as well as we would like. As I was crossing the school yard the other day, a second grade student "almost" recognized me, but stopped her play to chat anyway. "Are you somebody's grandfather or father?" she asked. "Why, yes! I am both a father AND a grandfather. How did you know?" She paused a moment as if considering the best way to answer. "Well," she noted, "you just look kinda old."

Philip Bowser
Roseburg, Oregon

One day while I was teaching a middle school Language Arts class, a student was trying to recall the term "rhetorical." Giving an example, he said, "When a teacher asks, 'How stupid do you think I am?' and she doesn't really want you to answer, what's that called?" Before I could respond to his question, another student piped up: "Common sense."

Donna Pitino
Torrington, Connecticut

I teach U.S. History in a high school. Justin, one of my students, tried to impress me one day when he observed that the objective for the day's lesson concerned World War I. He explained that the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand from Austria caused that country to declare war on Suburbia. I congratulated him but corrected the name of the country to Serbia. I explained that suburbia is the general location between an urban area and a rural area. Not willing to accept being misinformed, Justin responded, "Yeah, well, they declared war on them, too."

Ron Browning
Essex, Maryland

Recently our school had a visit from the Governor of Alabama. On the day of his arrival, I sent one of my little first grade helpers to the office to take the morning report. When he came back to our room he announced to all in attendance, "Mrs. Thomas, the government is here!"

Pattie Thomas
Talladega, Alabama

My sixth graders may like to believe they are adolescents, but stories like this show their innocent side. It was the first week of school, and I was looking for one of my students, Faith. I asked the class who had Faith in their group. One young man raised his hand and sincerely answered, "Mrs. B, I have total faith in my group!"

Barb Brezel
S. Windsor, Connecticut

Josh was standing at my desk practicing his sight words. I was wearing a blazer with shoulder pads and he had his hand on my shoulder. Josh commented, "Oh, my mom has a Wonder Bra too!" Not knowing what to say, I quickly replied, "How nice, next word?"

Cheryl Roberts
Gainesville, Georgia

I was a first year teacher in VA and was teaching about Magellan "circumnavigating" the earth. I asked, "What was Magellan famous for?" Hands went up all over the room as I breathed a sigh of relief at how well I had taught this class. I called on a young man who promptly said, "Magellan was known for 'circumcising' the world." I took a deep breath and explained that he must mean "circumnavigated" the world. He said, "No. I meant circumcised." Before I could get my thought together, a young lady in the back of the class said, "I know what circumnavigated means, but what does circumcised mean?" I said, "You probably need to talk to your parents about circumcision, but please don't say that I told you to do so." Wow! I still chuckle when I think of this first encounter with confusion in the seventh grade.

Victor Meadows
Appomattox, Virginia

Which Witch?
After my kindergarten class finished reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, I saw one little boy furiously shaking and holding his hand up for my attention. I noticed that he had a troubled and somewhat anxious look on his face.

After I gave him permission to speak, he asked, "Which witch are we talking about--the 'good witch' or the 'bad witch?' Evidently, he was confused about the part of the Pledge of Allegiance that says... "For which it stands!"

Vicky Shelton
Elmore City, Oklahoma

One morning in my reading class, I had students read a story, then answer questions about it in their workbooks. When finished, the students were supposed to bring up their workbooks so I could compare their answers to the responses contained in the teacher's guide.

The first question about this particular story was, "Is this a true story? How do you know?" One student wrote "no" for the first part and, "It said at the beginning of the story," for the second. I told her that she needed to be more specific on the second part and sent her back.

When she returned, I got the distinct impression that she must have been looking at the teacher's guide while I was correcting her work. Her sentence now read, "It said at the beginning of the story: Accept reasonable responses."

Nancy Tincher
Boardman, Oregon

I was teaching vocabulary words to my second grade class when we came upon the word "built." We went through the room discussing how and what in our classroom had been built.

A little boy in the last row raised his hand, "Miss Stallard, Miss Stallard, I know what is built!" I called on him to give his answer. "You are!"

Needless to say, I was mortified, and the parent helper in the back of the room made it even worse when she leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Ya know, I think he meant that!"

Angela Stallard
Wise, Virginia

Got Laughs?

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