My Turn
Someone To Lean On

Violence in schools may be prevented if students know they have teachers they can turn to for comfort and advice.

By Rachel Jupin

I met Amy at the beginning of the school year. She was a senior and told me she was going to be in my college writing class. At first, she started coming after school just to talk, and I would listen. Then she started coming after every block, and I'd say, "Go to class!"

She'd talk about her life and about her poetry--she's a wonderful poet. So our relationship became close. I knew she had no real mother figure because she'd been in and out of foster homes for years. I guess you could say her life was pretty messy. So it was very easy for her to talk to me and for me to talk to her. We even exchanged gifts, and she began going to church with me.

One night she came to my house, and I knew something was wrong because I'd never seen her so upset. I said, "Talk to me." And she said, "I can't because if I tell you, you'll call the police." She refused to tell me more, and for the next two weeks she conveniently stayed out of school.

When she finally showed up, it was at church, and she had shaved her head. I told her I was angry and worried, so she stopped by my house and nervously told me the unthinkable: She was involved in a murder-suicide plot similar to the massacre at Columbine High. Hundreds of students and teachers might be killed, and the kids involved planned to take their own lives.

It was all very vague at the time, and getting even a little bit of information was like pulling teeth from Amy. But I kept on--"Is it this? Is it that?"--until I had a good idea of what was being planned.

Horrified, I went to the police the next day. Little did I know that when Amy left my house she'd gone there, too. I think having that time to talk and to think about what it all really meant--to me and to everybody else--made her do this.

Of course, it was just what the police needed. It turns out they'd already been investigating rumors of this plot at the school. Then a janitor found a note that read, "Are you ready for the massacre?"

The police arrested four boys who later were indicted, along with Amy, for conspiracy to commit murder. I am praying the indictment against Amy will be dropped. But in the meantime, I am grateful that she is alive--so grateful, and so proud of her courage, that my husband and I have opened our home to her and are trying to help guide her through these trying times.

It's not what I'd recommend to every teacher, but I do recommend that we all listen more to our students because many of them are in so much pain. Amy is just one of many children who didn't get the foundation they need to help them cope, or know limits, and this was the result.

To this day I still don't truly understand it all--what made her get involved with these boys, or what made the boys feel they had to go this far. Maybe in their own minds they did feel looked down upon by others. These, after all, are kids who dress in baggy clothes, wear dark collars, pierce their ears, dye their hair red and green. They probably figure, "Who wants to be with us?" Yet our school population is so diverse, that one of our main rules is no bullying, no disrepecting others. Teachers stand in the halls to make sure of this. I never saw it, and that's what blows me away.

Still, it doesn't mean our kids aren't hurting or feeling alienated. I can personally relate to children like this--children who are different, or poor, or feeling really insecure-- because that was me when I was growing up. I had a single mother who wasn't really there for me, and it was hard. That's probably why it's so easy for me to open my heart to these children.

As teachers I think we should all listen to our guts more--not shy away when we know a kid needs a hug because we fear charges of abuse. Also, I say don't judge so quickly. One of my own sons went through a phase where he wore the mohawk and had the piercings. But he was a great kid. So don't brush a student off if he or she asks, "Can I talk to you?" You may be the only person that child feels comfortable with.

Luckily at our school we have systems in place to help identify problems and help kids deal with issues of alienation. We have a wonderful guidance staff. We have two crisis counselors and peer mentors. We also have the Student Advisory Council. Our kids are told the first day of school that if they have any problems and they feel they can't talk to an adult, go right to the kids.

We've had ongoing professional development, too, and while that's good, I don't think you can be trained to have passion. That's why I don't consider myself a hero for what I've done. I consider myself a teacher who did her job. I listened. I cared. And it made at least one student feel like life was worth living.

Rachel Jupin teaches English at Bedford High School in New Bedford, Massachusetts.

Editor's Note

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