Light Lane
When Your Water Breaks

It was 105 degrees on our school's year-round playground in Palm Springs. When my morning recess duty came to a close, I was standing by the water fountain as two fifth grade girls got in line for a drink.

Due to some recent plumbing problems in my own fourth grade classroom, I was not surprised when one of the girls suddenly looked up at me from her drink and said, "Mrs. Whitcomb's water broke." I casually responded, "Well, I'm sorry to hear that. It's no wonder you girls are so thirsty."

A puzzled glance from the girls greeted me as I continued, "Maybe Mr. Richard [our custodian] can fix it." Their eyes grew wide and their mouths gaped open as it suddenly dawned on me: Their teacher, Mrs. Whitcomb, hadn't been in school for several weeks. She was out on maternity leave.

Doug Messersmith
Palm Springs, California

My Language Arts class finished a unit on prepositional phrases, and students had to write their own. One student wrote, "The alligator chased the teacher with a big mouth."

Merna McGill
Bettendorf, Iowa

Knowing how excited my grandaughter had been to start kindergarten, I called her to see how her first week at school had gone. Imagine my amazement to find out that she was very nonchalant about school.

I asked her about her teacher, and she said she was fine. I asked her about the other girls and boys and if she had made any friends. She said yes.

"So why do you not care about school now? You were dying to go all summer," I inquired. Her answer: "I've been going a week now and I still can't read."

What high expectations of us teachers students have!

Marilyn McCormick
Bartlett, Tennessee

Last spring, our school had a tree-planting project to improve the playgrounds. Every class planted a tree. (My second graders planted their tree with considerable help from our fifth grade students). We wrote stories about our trees and named them.

When it was our turn to watch the fifth graders plant our tree, my second graders became very excited. One student came up to me and said, "Mrs. Brown, Mrs. Brown! Guess what they put in the hole with the tree? They put in cow remover!" I needed to spend the next few minutes explaining the pronunciation of the word "manure." Another unforgettable teaching moment.

Anne Brown
Aurora, Colorado

Every year the last question on my Algebra I final exam is: How do you spell "Mrs. Sidloski"?

A) Mrs. Sidloski

B) Mrs. Sidlowski

C) Mrs. Sidloskey

D) Mrs. Sidloskie

Several students will come up to my desk and ask if this is a trick question. I tell them, no, it is a really easy question. Two or three students will get it wrong in each class. But the best response so far is from the young man who came up to me this year and secretively said, "Mrs. Sidloski, did you forget that your name is up on the bulletin board in front of the room?"

Tracie Sidloski
Westlake, Ohio

My brother and I are science educators and use every opportunity to teach valuable science information. While driving one afternoon, my brother saw a windmill used to generate electricity and pointed it out to his sons.

Both boys were concentrating intensely on their electronic games and seemed a bit irritated by the distraction.

While the younger boy ignored the comment, his 12-year-old brother looked up at the mill, scanned the vast plains of central Nebraska with grasses swaying rhythmically in the wind, and asked, "Why do we need machines that make wind? Seems to me that there's enough wind in the world."

Pamela Galus
Omaha, Nebraska

I recently received my students' report cards back. As I took each card out, I read each response in the "parent comments" closely. I was tickled to read that one parent's comment was, "We love you son, keep up the good work!"

Patria Slaughter
DeLand, Florida

Talk About DNA
Each year in my seventh grade life science class students do a DNA extraction lab. After the experiment is completed, we have a debriefing session where students can express their opinions about the lab. This year, after the usual enthusiastic comments of "awesome," "really neat," and "the best lab so far," one of the quieter female students perked up and said, "I felt just like God."

Lee Grover
West Newbury
Massachusetts

While discussing study skills with my sixth grade class, we were naming people we could go to for help if we needed advice on such issues as good sleep habits and proper diet. When the topic switched to exercise, one energetic student was waving her hand to be called upon.

"Okay," I said, "Who could help us with advice about exercise?" With a confident smile, she proudly declared, "An exorcist!"

Vicki Campbell
Beavercreek, Ohio

My brother, who lives in Wyoming, was visiting my kindergarten class. He helped us locate Wyoming on the map by telling students that Wyoming is shaped like a square. Several days later, I asked my class if they remembered where my brother lived. A boy proudly raised his hand, saying, "He lives in a square."

Phyllis Levin
Kissimmee, Florida

Last week I gave a quiz after the show "Newsdepth" and asked, "Who does the United States believe ordered the 9/11 attack?" Some of the answers I got:

- Bennloten

- Osama Binladan

- Osma Bin Ladin

- Bilaten

- Allsonva bullaton

- Son of bin laden

- Asalven Aladen

- Osula binlatan

- Oson Bin Landen

- Bin Laden

- Alsurva binladen

- Osominbinlatin, AND

- O'Some of Binladan (from an Irish family, no doubt).

Amy Bogan
Wellington, Ohio

Got Laughs?

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