Health & Fitness
When Parents Part...

School personnel often fill in the gaps for students trying to cope.

Once a week in a cozy, lamp-lit room of the Lake Braddock Middle School in Burke, Virginia, NEA member Jan Furman gathers together a small group of seventh and eighth graders and kindly lets them spill their guts. But not about any ol' thing.

The topic for these sessions is divorce--specifically, how students can better navigate their parents' breakup.

A social worker for the Fairfax County Public Schools, Furman started this "changing family" support group more than 20 years ago and has been leading it nearly every year since. It's been a great avenue, she says, for helping students work out some of the emotion-packed issues that rear their heads when parents go their separate ways.

Problems communicating feelings to the newly divorced parents, the ups and downs of visitation arrangements, splitting holidays, coping with a changed financial situation, understanding stepparents--they're all heady issues, but in Furman's friendly space, they get hashed out, and confidentially. Furman gently offers the professional guidance, and students weigh in with their own thoughts and experiences. They problem-solve, discuss, even laugh--all the while abiding Furman's firm no-shouting rules.

"It may not seem like a big thing," says Furman, "but a lot of kids don't know there's another way to communicate. Their families never did it any other way."

In starting the group when she did, Furman may have been ahead of her time. Divorce in the United States was rising steadily back then--and it has not seen a notable downturn since. Now, government statistics show, 43 percent of all first marriages break up within 15 years. And while some schools have support groups to deal with the fallout for children, many don't.

It's something Furman wishes were different, for divorce can be brutally taxing, she says. Some children handle it smoothly, but others, she says, experience grief, anger, depression and feelings of abandonment. They may act out or become inattentive, withdrawn, aggressive, or easily agitated. They may even pick up eating disorders or start engaging in risky behaviors, such as sexual activity and alcohol and drug use.

For Furman's groups, school counselors recruit the students--about 8 to 12 for each eight-week session. Once parents give their permission for them to attend the meetings, which rotate among different class periods, teachers grant release time. After a few weeks, Furman then invites parents to their own chat session so she can share the students' general concerns.

A common complaint, she says, is the frustrated feeling of being caught in the middle. "Battles between parents hurt kids," says Furman. Some feel forced to take sides or give confidential information. "For instance, the father might ask, 'Does your mom have a boyfriend?' It's tough, but I try to empower them by saying it's okay to say, 'That's between you and mom and I don't want to get involved.'"

Furman says that over the years teachers and staff have become adept at spotting--and helping--students who may be needy because of divorce issues. Still, she advises teachers and staff to:

• Stay alert to changes in behavior (such as lack of concentration and sadness) and be in touch with parents.
• Support having a report card sent to both parents and include both of them in all conferences.
• Be extra sensitive to organization and behavior issues, particularly if the student is an adolescent. They're already sorting through physiological, emotional, and social changes. On top of that, many are often shuttling from one house to another, says Furman. "Cut them some slack."
• Be as neutral as possible when parents separate. This may be difficult if one parent is a known abuser, but it is not the teacher's role to judge.

It takes team work, but helping kids of divorced adults emerge whole and reasonably happy can be done. "Kids can be enriched and profit from two caring parents, even if they are living apart," says Furman.

The trick, she says, is making kids believe it.

--Michele Hodak
NEA Health Information Network

What's Up at HIN?

New building partnerships for youth website
The National 4-H Council, an NEA-HIN partner, has launched a new website, Building Partnerships for Youth. Located at www.bpy.n4h.org/, the site offers a database of youth development programs that inspire kids, ages 9-13, to make healthy choices and delay sexual intercourse. It also provides resources related to positive youth development, as well as opportunities to interact with colleagues across the country.

Indoor air quality training
For the third year, NEA-HIN helped send NEA members and staff to the Environmental Protection Agency's Annual IAQ Tools for Schools Symposium in Washington, D.C. Participants learned about programs and resources, including EPA's nationwide initiative Indoor Air Quality Tools for Schools (IAQ TfS). This program helps school officials assess, resolve, and prevent indoor air quality problems in school facilities. Want to apply to next year's symposium? E-mail or fax your name, address, and telephone number to Jennie Young at jyoung@nea.org or 202/822-7775 (fax).

Help for the uninsured
Some 8 million children in America are uninsured, but most are eligible for low-cost or free health care coverage through the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) or Medicaid. Unfortunately, half of all parents don't know their kids may qualify. Now there's a toll-free number from the Department of Health and Human Services' Insure Kids Now Campaign. Calling 877/KIDS-NOW connects families of uninsured children to an operator in their state who can answer questions and start the application process.

For ideas on how to promote low-cost health care coverage in your school's community, visit www.neahin.org/programs/childhealth/backtoschool.htm.

[Working Out Our Stress]
Resolutions You Can Keep--For Real

Educators often like to brag that their New Year starts in September, but let's face it: When January rolls around, it's hard not to get resolute--about something. Problem is, the ambitious gonna-do list we scribble after singing "Auld Lang Syne" is often history by the time Cupid strikes. How to "get real"? Experts advise starting with small, manageable goals that help relax you and heighten your sense of well-being. Here are a few to write down. Abide by them through the year and you'll do your mind--and body--good.

Visit my doctor more.
Why wait for the pain? Regular doctor visits are often the best way to prevent problems before they start. Think you're not at risk for something? The American Heart Association estimates that 1.1 million Americans will have a heart attack this year and more than 45 percent of them will die. Breast cancer and prostate cancer are just as lethal. In 2001 they claimed the lives of more than 40,000 women and 31,000 men, according to the American Cancer Society. Mammograms and colon, rectal, and prostate cancer screenings are key. But remember: Don't just make the appointment. Go!

Chew my food--s-l-o-w-l-y.
Do you inhale what you eat? Take it easy. You may have only a few minutes, but try to savor your bites, eat mindfully, and enjoy. Many docs recommend chewing your food about 28 times before swallowing. Not only will you love it more, but slowing down aids digestion, reduces excess gas, helps prevent heartburn--and may even help you pack away less. Not a bad incentive.

Get more zzzzz's.
That stack of papers may need grading, but in the long run getting enough sleep will be more beneficial to you--and your students. Inadequate sleep robs your body of vital energy and actually puts you at risk for health complications, including Type II diabetes and hypertension, according to the National Sleep Foundation. Make it your priority to get six to eight hours of sleep each night and avoid caffeine, nicotine, strenuous exercise, and alcohol in the hours before bedtime.

Wash my hands.
No, we're not kidding. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates one in three people skips the wash cycle after using the restroom. And who knows the sins that follow! To protect yourself and others from a host of infectious diseases, be sure to douse those hands before you eat, after using the restroom, while preparing food and after handling animals, and when you and others are sick. And don't just let a little water trickle over your fingers and call it a day. Wash thoroughly with soap and warm water for at least 30 seconds. Nowhere near a faucet? Keep one of those nifty hand sanitizers handy.

Stop complaining and do something.
Tired of sitting around bemoaning the state of the world and your life? Then act. If your elected officials aren't living up to their campaign promises, let them know. If you think school administrators aren't holding up their end of the bargain for students, organize like-minded colleagues to do something. If your family is using you as a doormat, announce that you are not a servant--and mean it. If you're tired of carrying around all that weight, start walking--regularly. Trust us, it'll work wonders for your spirit. And it could actually change things!

--Leah Lakins

Healthy Bites

Brown Baggin' It
For a yummy change of pace, how about a homemade burrito wrap? It's a super quick fix, so give it a whirl. On one side of a large flour tortilla, place two generous tablespoons each of brown rice (cooked ahead and refrigerated), whole black or pinto beans with a pinch of cumin or chili powder, your favorite salsa, and one tablespoon grated cheese. Leftover cooked chicken, pork, or beef can be added if desired. Roll and wrap in plastic. At lunch, place the burrito in a dish, use the plastic wrap to cover it, and heat in microwave 'til warmed through. Sprinkle with fresh cilantro and serve with oranges.

BMI--Again
Oops. In the October issue we gave you a formula to figure your Body Mass Index (BMI), the most reliable measure of your fat to muscle ratio. With your help, we discovered a glitch. Here's the correct formula: BMI equals your weight in pounds times 705 divided by your height in inches squared. Too complicated? Just go to the BMI chart at: www.nhlbi.nih.gov/guidelines/obesity/bmi_tbl.htm.

Good question!
Q: Should people with arthritis exercise?

A: Definitely. Research shows that exercise reduces joint pain and stiffness and increases flexibility, muscle strength, cardiac fitness, and endurance. Arthritis sufferers can perform low-impact exercises such as walking, swimming, and light strength training. Just check with your doctor first for any special risks.

Talk To Us
This is part of a series designed to help NEA members develop healthy habits that beat stress. If you have a comment or question, e-mail mmilloy@nea.org.