Radio Waves

On a rainy morning, I was in my classroom getting things ready for the day, listening to a local radio station. The gal on the radio mentioned a rainbow song she learned as a little girl. I decided to call the station to help her with the song. After I sang it to her, she said, "You are so cheerful. You will brighten people's days."

When my kindergarten students arrived, they asked why I had the radio on. I told them I was going to be on. Just then, the song finished and my voice came on. The children stared at the radio in astonishment.

One child said, "Mrs. Fieldson, you are famous." A curious classmate pointed to the radio and added, "How did it feel to be in there?"

Tere Fieldson
Los Alamitos, California

While rehearsing with my junior high jazz band, I was telling my saxophone players to project their sound and think about aiming their sound toward an imaginary point on the opposite wall. One of my trombone players muttered under her breath, "They're gonna miss..."

David Johnson
Auburndale, Wisconsin

Our seventh grade goes to overnight camp at the beginning of September as a bonding activity. I am in a team with another teacher, and between us we have 48 students.

Just before we left, the mother of one of the quiet, serious boys came rushing into my classroom and gave me a package, saying, "Please keep an eye on Billy. One second he'll be fine and the next minute he'll start acting funny and that's when the problems really start! He gets nuts and it's all over, you never know when it's going to hit him." Then she left.

I turned over the package to see in bold letters "Give to Billy if nuts." I was concerned that I was not informed of Billy's psychological condition! It was not until a few days later that I realized what she was trying to tell me was that her son had a nut allergy.

Maryanne Cullinan
Weare, New Hampshire

As a K-5 special education teacher I hear plenty of excuses from students not wanting to do their classwork. I decided to seize a "teachable moment" to emphasize that all of us have jobs. Their job is to be the student and learn as much as they possibly can, while my job is to be the teacher and make sure that they are learning as much as they possibly can.

Seeing their eyes rolling, I decided to share the fact that I am still going to school to become a better teacher. Hearing this, one of my spirited fourth graders' faces turned as white as a sheet, and he stammered, "You mean you don't know how to teach us yet?"

Amanda Suchodolski
Bay City, Michigan

I retired last June after working as an elementary library aide for 21 years. At the start of the new school year in September, a second-grade boy asked my replacement where I was. She explained that I had retired and wanted to spend more time with my husband.

He then asked, "Is Mrs. Pick having a baby?" If he thought at age 63 I looked young enough to have a baby, that was OK with me. It made my day!

Joan Pick
Danville, Pennsylvania

I told one of my fifth-grade students that he shouldn't pick up two chairs, adding that they would be too heavy even for me to carry. His reply? "That's because you're old."

The other students gasped, and one young lady raised her hand and corrected him. "My mom said it's rude to call someone 'old,'" she said. "You should say 'elderly'!"

Sue Cuttriss
Fillmore, California

I had just started explaining Kepler's laws when one of my students raised his hand and said, "Why would someone who knows so much about planets go into the cookie-making business?"

Caught completely off-guard, I tried to determine what I had said to cause the students to make the connection between cookies and planetary motion. All at once, I realized the connection and had to stifle my laughter: Instead of Kepler, the student had heard "Keebler." I assured my young pupil that elves and ellipses had little in common.

The next day, I brought in a cookie shaped like an ellipse to reinforce my lesson. Since then, I've discovered that the word association could help students--and after the instruction is over, the demonstration materials are tasty!

Pamela Galus
Omaha, Nebraska

Dream On

I teach a third-grade boy with ADHD who will say anything that comes into his head. One day as I worked with him, he asked me, "When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?" (Of course, this had nothing to do with the lesson at hand.)

I said I couldn't remember, but he replied, "Oh, come on, pick something." So I said that I vaguely remembered one time wanting to be a singer and dancer. "Oh Mrs. Chausse," he said, wrinkling his nose, "you don't have the voice for that."

Kris Chausse
Aledo, Illinois

Several years ago my son and daughter-in-law were married during the school year. All teachers in her school wore nametags. When Starlet returned to school, she pointed out to one of her students that she had a new nametag and asked him if he knew why. Very hesitantly he replied, "People were teasing you?"

Duane Heitz
Miltona, Minnesota

Sometimes we forget that kindergarten children haven't been around long enough to remember past technologies. I was taking out a record album from our music series to play one of the songs for the class, when a five-year-old stood up and said, "Wow, look at that big CD!"

Carol Edelblute
Neosho, Wisconsin

Being a physical education teacher in sunny Las Vegas, I wear shorts to school every day. One evening, I decided to change into dress slacks for our Science and Math Fair. I walked into the school office area, where a group of teachers and parents were socializing. One of our female teachers saw me and, in an innocent but very loud voice, said, "Mr. G, I didn't recognize you with your pants on!" Silence fell over the group, followed by side-splitting laughter!

Randy Gronert
Las Vegas, Nevada