Teaching Kids About Hurt

One middle school found the keys to stop bullying and violence--and is setting a national example.

By Bob Katz

Photo by Garik Parmele

He was a mid-term transfer from another town. But with a massive wine-colored birthmark nearly covering his face, the eighth grader quickly stood out. Worse, his school file was thick with reports of fights and suspensions.

And so upon his arrival at Walnut Middle School in Grand Island, Nebraska, counselor Mary Ann Richards didn't waste time. "Were you ever teased or taunted at your previous school?"she asked the boy.

Yes, he nodded.

"What did you do?"

"I punched them," he said.

Richards saw a classic set-up for the familiar middle school cycle of taunting and reactive violence.

But Walnut was ready.

Over the past four years, this school of 780 kids has transformed itself from a place all too familiar to local police to a celebrated winner of a National Schools of Character award for 2003. Walnut was the only middle school of 10 so honored by the Character Education Partnership, a consortium of groups focused on developing moral character in students. But the transformation was not easy, or accidental.

With its ethnically diverse population (30 percent Hispanic and 5 percent Asian), the school faced some formidable challenges. Then, as today, most of its students received free or reduced lunch and many were transient--their families drawn to the commercial hub by opportunities in the agricultural and meat-packing industries.

They also fought--a lot. In the year before launching a character education program, Walnut reported nearly 150 incidents of assault and fighting, of which almost 50 were referred to police for possible prosecution. "Basically, this was us being desperate and saying, 'enough's enough,'" recalls Richards. Adds Walnut principal Vikki Deuel. "We had a whole vipers' nest of bullies, and nobody was helping our kids make better choices."

Using methods developed by the Bully B'ware program and by Tom Jackson's Activities That Teach, Richards and Deuel, along with Rick Ressel, a police officer on full-time loan to the school, set out to systematically re-educate the students. Here's what they started:

• Bully prevention classes. Every new sixth grader attends three such classes early in the fall and seventh and eighth graders receive "refresher" classes. The goal: to redefine bullies as weak not strong, activate bystanders to be part of the solution, and create an atmosphere that inspires respect for differences. Importantly, students are also taught that verbal and sexual harassment and taunting--which some think is a "normal" part of growing up--are forms of bullying and may be illegal.

• Anger management groups. Kids who teachers and staff identify as bullies, or the targets of bullies, join support groups, which meet weekly to discuss issues of self-awareness.

• The Purple Hands Pledge. This national campaign centers around a pledge that students recite at the start of each school day: "I will not use my hands or my words for hurting myself or others!"

"It seems simplistic," says Deuel, but it's been a great tool for building an atmosphere of tolerance and peaceful problem solving. The measures of success: assaults have plummeted to a fraction of what they were before--and kids are making marked achievement gains.

While only the counselors and Ressel conduct anti-bullying workshops, the entire faculty has played a role. But not all accepted the responsibility at first. "One math teacher told me he wasn't interested in teaching social skills," recalls Deuel. "My answer was, if we don't start teaching social skills, we won't have time to teach math."

And what became of the transfer student with the temper?

Richards recalls walking the hall with him on his first day and watching students gawk at his birthmark. She could feel the tension and anger rising in him.

But a strange thing happened. Nobody teased him. Nobody taunted. Some kids actually said hi. The boy then enrolled in classes to build anger management skills. But while at Walnut, says Richards, he rarely had to use them.

For more, contact: Mary Ann Richards at mrichard@esu10.org or Vikki Deuel at Vdeuel@esu10.org.