What do you do when students show physical affection for each other in school?

Sign of Spring

In our rural North Dakota school, even when blizzards still rage outside, public displays of affection in the halls are a sure sign of spring.

Usually, with most teachers, students get off with a sharp warning. Repeated offenses or extremely seductive moves get written up and are treated like any other non-compliance. At our school, lingering kisses, body rubbing, and inappropriate touching are considered extremely seductive moves. I don't hesitate to write up a student for such conduct because I think that kind of behavior embarrasses other students.

A write-up requires that a student meet with the principal and disciplinary action may be taken. Some have received out-of-school suspensions.

Roxy Jochimsen
High School English Teacher, Dunseith, North Dakota

Get Unstuck

At our high school, kids are allowed to hold hands or exchange short, friendly hugs. When it goes beyond that, I try to make it very uncomfortable for them. I ask, in a loud voice, if they need help getting unstuck or if I should take a picture for their parents.

If I see that sort of activity from them again, I'll quote to them from the student handbook and offer to take them to the office so they can explain to the principal why they felt the overwhelming need to violate school rules. For that reason, I have not seen open shows of affection for quite some time.

Don Mack
Technology Facilitator, Laramie, Wyoming

Old-fashioned Lust

First of all, it's not affection, it is old-fashioned lust. Second, what part of sexual harassment don't you get?

I walk up to them and ask the female student, "Do you need help? Things are looking a little out of hand." Yes, I really do. And in several cases, the girl took the opportunity to disappear into the restroom, or to get on with her life.

That is not to ignore the time that I offered the same question, only to discover that it was the young man who was being assaulted by the girl. Both got suspension.

"Affection" is not the dilemma—moving education forward is.

Just because we are not the parents should not mean anything goes. Students sometimes give that answer: "You can't tell me what to do with my girl or boyfriend—you are not my mom!" In California, the legal concept of "in loco parentis" does exist. It gives school employees rights and obligations in the care of students, in the absence of the parent.

Suzanne Emery
Retired Journalism Teacher, Poway, California

No Kiss

I teach seventh and eighth graders. Our school policy states that students should refrain from showing signs of affection on school grounds. Embracing results in a warning. Kissing and necking result in both students being sent to the office.

Stephen Sommerfield
Technology Education Teacher, Portland, Indiana

Close to You

At our school, teachers usually try to break up the pair using humor. I try to keep it light: "Come on! Break it up! Go to class! Get an education! Make us proud!" It helps to stand next to them. This usually adds extra motivation to pry the two asunder.

However, if a young couple refuses to break it up or behaves in a totally inappropriate manner, I would write up both students.

What behavior constitutes a gross act of affection differs from teacher to teacher. For me, groping would do it.

We have 2,000 students in our high school, but I have yet to see what I would consider a gross act by a student. I see lots of hugging and a little kissing. Apparently, they take care of their hormones outside school!

Pam Wensing
High School English Teacher, Sioux Falls, South Dakota

Serenade

If I know the students well, I have been known to sing the Love Boat theme song as I walk by. If I don't know them very well, a great approach is to gather a few students and serenade the couple with a romantic song. This is a fun way to confront an awkward situation. Most of the time the couple will laugh and cool things down.

Kyle Kniveton
Spanish Teacher, Wenatchee, Washington

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