Healing through Writing

By Donna Marie Pitino

Photo by Thomas Cordy

When a young teacher died, her students found their own way to grieve.

You couldn’t miss her pink-lipstick smile when you entered her classroom. With her contagious laugh and enthusiastic teaching style, Carol Nanni made eighth-grade science and math fun. She took the time to know each student.

Carol died suddenly at the age of 41. Her students were devastated. For many, this was their first encounter with death. Tough teenage attitudes melted in an instant, and they became heart-broken children.

As teachers, we often find ourselves comforting a child for various reasons. But how do you comfort 50 students at once? Our school put in place a multi-faceted crisis response that included plenty of counselors, but the most powerful help came from the students themselves. They chose to write.

After the initial wave of tears and disbelief, their thoughts turned to Carol’s 15-year-old daughter. They made her a large card and everyone wrote their thoughts or simply signed their names. The next day, Ben asked to read a poem aloud. Here’s an excerpt:

You think it is fake,
But it sets in,
You don’t like it,
But you really have no choice to lose someone you love...
You’ve been more than a teacher to me,
Why couldn’t nature just let you be?

Nobody had asked him to write this. Over the next few weeks, “regular” poems on our bulletin board were replaced by poems about the students’ lost teacher. Every day, students were glued to that bulletin board. I made copies of the poems into a book for Carol’s daughter and mother. The originals were given back to the students. Unlike other returned work (which is often used for “basketball practice”), I saw these pages carefully folded and tucked into binders.

This poem came from Anthony:

Life goes by so fast that we miss the really important things,
Like the people who really make a great impact on your life,
The people that make us feel good when they’re around,...
But once they pass away we really get to understand
Why they would push us that extra mile...

The students produced vivid similes and metaphors—poetic devices they had studied but rarely used before. Like Mark’s.
For five minutes at the start of our class, my students write in journals. I suggest topics but they are free to choose their own. Most important, I do not read what they write. For weeks after Carol’s death, journals were opened willingly and some students asked that the writing time be extended as they expressed their private feelings.

An impromptu writing assignment arose as we talked about Carol’s daughter. How often had the students said thank you or I love you to their own parents? Letters were written to parents, not for a grade, but because life is precious and there are things that need to be said.

Yet another form of writing: Students wrote one or two sentences about Carol, something she taught them or something they will always remember about her. Our local paper printed their work. After reading it, a colleague told me he usually noticed the students who got into trouble. But this article helped him to see how much they thought about things and how deeply they cared.

A final thought from Gabe:

Now I know you can’t be dead
because angels can’t die
and you are an angel...
you must be.

Donna Marie Pitino taught in Torrington, Connecticut, for 13 years. She now writes about education and other issues.