Q&A with Leslie Bennetts Author, The Feminine Mistake

Bennetts, the first woman ever to cover a presidential campaign for The New York Times, touched off a firestorm this year with the release of a book in which she argues that working women are more personally satisfied and less vulnerable financially than women who stay at home to raise children.

What motivated you to write the book?

My alarm about the incomplete and misleading media coverage of women who opt out of work to raise children. It almost never discussed the long-term economic risks for those who give up their careers, or the difficulties of opting back in after a time out of the work force. Benefits of work were also neglected, too. Public debate about this issue always seemed to assume that if a woman did not have to work out of financial necessity, there was no other reason for her to do so.

You were assailed by stay-at-home mothers online when the book came out. Why are Internet forums and blogs such a ripe new front in the so-called Mommy Wars?

The relative anonymity of the Internet has made it easier for angry or unbalanced people to vent their rage without taking responsibility for what they say. I suspect that the vitriolic nature of the “Mommy Wars” also reflects the resentment and frustration felt by many stay-at-home mothers who are secretly unhappy with the choice they’ve made, but who feel too defensive to admit it. Instead they just lash out at working mothers. It seems to me that there are more constructive ways to deal with differences of opinion.

By heading into the classroom, school, or bus yard every day, does a female educator or education support professional send the message to her students that career and family can be balanced?

Working mothers in any field provide positive role models for younger women, many of whom are apprehensive about balancing work and family and fearful that they will have to choose one. It’s very important for older women to talk with young women about these issues and encourage them to pursue their own goals. It’s not a safe or sensible choice for any woman to give up her economic self-sufficiency, given the lengthening lifespans of American women, the divorce rate, and the prevalence of poverty among older women. Millions of women have succeeded in combining work and family, and professional women can play a crucial role in showing younger women how to build well-rounded lives.