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Thinking Skills: How Parents Can Help

Thinking and being aware of our own thoughts are skills that make us human. Thinking is an active process. It encompasses events that range from daydreaming to problem solving. It is a kind of ongoing, internal dialogue that accompanies actions like performing a task, observing a scene or expressing an opinion.

What Does "Teaching Thinking in School" Mean?

The "teaching thinking" movement goes beyond the learning of facts. It encourages students to ask questions of the information and ideas presented in class. It helps students learn how to identify unstated assumptions, to form and defend opinions, to see relationships between events and ideas.

There are many approaches to teaching thinking. Some educators teach students to use a set of identifiable skills — such as discriminating between relevant and irrelevant points in a particular argument, or generating questions from written material. Others try to involve students in classroom experiences that will help them think more actively — such as a classroom debate or a mock court case.

What Are Some Examples of Thinking Skills Instruction?

• In an American history class, students might use a simulation exercise to understand the points of view of the colonists and the British at the time of the Revolution. That is, after studying background information, students would play roles of persons on both sides of the conflict, debating the issues as they reflect their imagined families, work and community.

• In a mathematics class, students might work together in pairs. While one student acts as problem solver, talking aloud his or her thinking on how to solve a problem, the other student is an active listener, asking questions and helping the problem solver think through the process. Later, these students would exchange roles.

• In a first grade classroom, the teacher might engage students in a discussion of the reliability of evidence after reading them the story of Chicken Little. The teacher might lead this discussion by asking students whether the other animals should have trusted Chicken Little, and how they could have determined the truth or falsity of her story.

• After viewing a film on the Lewis and Clark expedition, a fifth grade teacher might ask students to work in pairs, listing the steps involved in planning and carrying out the expedition.

• Children of all ages can do team research. For example, elementary school children might investigate the effects of the gold rush on westward expansion, while secondary students might study the traffic flow in a major intersection of their community.

• Thinking skills can even be taught in performance courses, such as band or woodworking. In band, students might be asked to think about how a piece would sound if the tempo or volume were changed. They might mark their scores with different tempos and volumes, then play the re-marked scores to hear the resulting differences in the music. Woodworking can be seen as a series of problems requiring solution. For example, instead of constructing a table by following a preset model, students might be encouraged to draw several ways of making a table (such as differing arrangements of legs or other supports, various tabletop shapes), and experiment with each design on small models, determining which are the most stable, pleasing to the student and so on.

How Can Students' Thinking Skills Be Evaluated?

First, it's important to say that evaluating thinking skills is not the same as evaluating the number of words students spell correctly — students are not graded on how well they do, and there is generally no "right" answer. The teacher evaluates students' thinking skills to see where they are at a given time, and to see where they may need extra work.

Students' thinking skills might be evaluated orally or with a paper-and-pencil test. For example, a teacher might be interested in evaluating students' skills in analysis — a breaking-down process to find out how parts fit together to make a whole. Students might be asked to list the steps involved in solving a particular problem, or to break down a task (such as making a bed) into its component parts.

How Can Parents Help Their Children Think More Actively?

As a parent you can:

• Encourage your children to ask questions about the world around them.

• When reading to or with young children, ask them to imagine what will happen next in the story.

• Actively listen to your children's conversation, responding seriously and non-judgmentally to the questions they raise.

• When your children express feelings, ask why they feel that way.

• Suggest that your children find facts to support their opinions, and then encourage them to locate information relevant to their opinions.

• Use entertainment — a TV program or a movie — as the basis of family discussions.

• Use daily activities as occasions for learning. For example, instead of sending a child to the store with a simple list of items to purchase, talk with the child first about how much each item might cost, how much all the items might cost, how much all the items might add up to, and estimate how much change she should receive.

• Reward your children for inquisitive and/or creative activity that is productive.

• Ask your children what questions their teachers are raising in class. For example, a history class might be "asking" how American westward expansion began.

Remember, if your children are active participants in a home where there is talk about the why and the how of things, they are more likely to be active thinkers both in and out of school.

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Motivation for Learning: Parents Can Help

As parents, we want our children to learn. We know the benefits of being able to read well, to write clearly, to solve problems and to communicate effectively. Not only do these abilities allow us to earn a decent living, but they also help us to enjoy life and to appreciate its wonders and beauty.

So, as many generations before us, we preach the benefits of a good education and try with deliberate effort to uphold, at least verbally, the values of studying, of "hitting the books and burning the midnight oil." But with our sermonettes, cajoling, and in some instances, begging and threatening our children to study and learn, many of them seem to turn away and perceive us simply as nagging parents with little impact on their daily learning. We, in turn, often feel guilty and fatigued by these constant battles for our children's benefit, and resent our roles as minister-wardens in the service of modern education.

What Can Parents Do?

There is much that we can do. What follows is a checklist of parental behaviors that can facilitate the motivation of our children to learn. None of these suggestions in and of itself is enough to spell the difference between a child who studies and one who does not. Rather, it is their combination and employment as a totality that can realistically help our sons and daughters to consistently involve themselves in the pursuit of learning at school as well as at home.

• Actively demonstrate your value for learning. The basic question here is "Can your children see that you are still a learner?" Do you read books, go to the library, watch educational TV programs, write letters, or attend local school functions? Do you discuss ideas at home, share opinions on social and political change, or wonder out loud about new scientific and aesthetic discoveries? Do you read to your children, play educational games like Monopoly and chess with them, or facilitate their involvement in creative projects?

  Our modeling is a powerful incentive to our children's learning. If they see us doing it, then they know it's worthwhile and can identify with us. If they don't see us enjoying learning, they can dismiss our support for learning as another example of "not practicing what we preach."

• Show a non-threatening interest in your child's learning. This means that you care and want to know what your child is learning, but not for purposes of criticism or surveillance. In this manner you might ask about what he is learning in school or indicate your desire to see papers and projects he is creating.

  The dinner table is an excellent setting for exploration of new things your child has learned at school. On these occasions your disposition should be to understand and share in the enjoyment of your child's learning. They are not situations in which to criticize or be demanding of the child to improve or to show superior work. Such reactions will usually cause the young person to avoid discussions of this nature — or worse, to resent schoolwork for the oppression it brings to homelife.

• Consistently offer your child a sincere expectancy that she can learn effectively. In order to learn, children must believe that they can learn. Much of this attitude is influenced by the work they do in school and the expectations and feedback they receive from teachers and other students. You as a parent, however, are the most important adult in your child's life. Whatever you say or do regarding her ability to learn will have a major impact on the child's self-concept as an effective learner.

  By acknowledging effort as well as success, you tell the child that the intrinsic act of learning is valued. This approach builds an appreciation of learning for the sake of learning.

• Get involved in your child's school. At one time it was believed that students did not learn because they were lazy or stupid. We now know that this is a misleading and injurious fallacy. At least two other erroneous beliefs continue to misguide us, however — one, that students don't learn because their teachers are not effective; the other, that students will not learn because their parents don't care and therefore don't prepare them to learn. Both may have some partial truth, but both are far too simplistic to explain the causes behind poor student motivation.

  It is far more likely that the student, the teacher and the parent all play significant roles in determining how motivated the student is to learn. As parents, we can do our part by being involved in the life of those schools that educate our children. By knowing the teachers, by being aware of the curriculum, and by supporting the school itself, we ourselves can be more knowledgeable and, indeed, motivated to facilitate the motivation of our children to learn.

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Discipline that Works

The hope of every parent is to have children who are responsible, concerned members of society. Discipline is, of course, part of this effort. Research has repeatedly shown that, despite the importance of the peer group, parents usually have much more influence than they realize. Disciplining children takes a great deal of effort, but the main idea is that children and parents can change.

Changing behavior requires much time and well-thought-out reactions. Some parents simply do not have the time, energy or patience to attempt to motivate change in the child or even in themselves. It is not easy, but read on. You will be convinced that it can be done. You can do it!

Positive Steps Toward Better Discipline

Let your children know you like them. Tell your children how much you admire their good qualities. Don't take their good behavior for granted. Remember to reward them once in a while. These rewards may take the form of extra time reading to your child, time spent in an activity chosen by your child, or even something as simple as a hug.

Listening to your children, hugging them, smiling or talking with them are all rewards, the kind that you can give hundreds of times every day. One of the most powerful rewards for children is the love, interest and attention they receive from their mother and father.

Let your children know exactly what you expect of them — set limits. Youngsters, who would be the last to admit it, find too much freedom frightening. Set limits for the actions that your children are not ready to control themselves. Children need to know exactly what parents expect of them and also how parents will react to their behavior.

It is important to state your requests clearly. For example, it is much easier for the child to follow the direction, "Please put your glass in the center of the table" than "Be careful with your milk. It's so close to the edge of the table it will fall off." Set rules that you think are important and be firm in seeing that your children follow them. Above all, do not make rules you have no intention of enforcing.

Encourage responsible decision making. Whenever possible, find areas in which you know your children can make decisions for themselves. If your child approaches you with a request you feel you should deny, try saying, "What would you say if you were in my place? What should I say? What would be my reason?" You'll find that if you treat children as responsible individuals, their level of responsibility increases rapidly.

Set a good example. Remember that children are great imitators. While you are telling your children why you think they should not steal, cheat or be cruel to others, be sure they cannot cite some example of your behavior that contradicts these values. Be honest yourself — hypocrisy shows.

Encourage your children to respect proper authority. At home, in school and in other areas of their lives, your children need to know the importance of respecting authority. It is a simple fact that some things cannot or will not be changed. Certain rules must be followed. Help your children understand that it is harmful to them, as well as to everyone else, to have constant arguments, fights and problems with peers and adults. Let your child see how his or her misbehavior affects other people.

Have fun with your children. Young people need to interact with adults. Try choosing a regular time each week to do things as a family. Engaging in sports, playing games, sharing hobbies, visiting museums are some of the many activities that parents and children can enjoy together. In addition, initiate your children to join you in some activities in which they may not usually be asked to participate. Also encourage your children to ask questions and to express their own points of view.

What About Punishment?

Thus far, we have approached the subject of discipline from a very positive standpoint. Changing behavior with positive methods is the best way. But it is a rather slow process, and you may find some behaviors of your child that you need to change more quickly.

Punishment, if used properly, will produce rapid changes in behaviors that disrupt the family. It is strongly recommended, however, that you use punishment sparingly. It does encourage the child to refrain from certain behaviors, but your real task as a parent is to teach the child to be a person. By using the more positive methods described earlier, you can teach the child positive ways of behaving.

Effective punishment relies on withholding rewards or privileges and provides a clearcut method of earning them back. Before punishing, it is a good idea to give a cue (a physical or verbal warning that the behavior is to stop at once). Then punishment should follow immediately after the offense so that the child understands the association between the misbehavior and the punishment.

Avoid physical punishment because other forms of discipline (short periods of isolation or withholding privileged activities) focus more on the behavior and less on the self-concept of the child. Hatred builds quickly when punishment hurts the child physically.

Realistically, however, because some physical punishment is likely, care should be taken that it is neither severe nor prolonged. Physical punishment can be harmful to a child and does not accomplish the goal. Besides, no parents want their children to fear them. If a parent slaps or hits a child in anger, the undesirable behavior may stop, but two things are wrong with this method:

• both parent and child are likely to be upset for some time
• no parent can hit a child every time he or she does something undesirable.

Don't Give Up

Consistency will determine the success of whatever discipline methods you use. Each time you ask your children to do something, you also have a job. Be predictable — follow through. Remember, too, that your children may have been misbehaving for some time. If this is the case, when you start to correct them, they may not think you mean it. They will learn that you mean business when you continue to follow your program consistently.

If you see your children slipping into behaviors you cannot correct by yourself, it may be time to seek outside assistance. When you feel you have exhausted your own efforts, your child's teacher, school counselor, or principal, your pastor or rabbi, or a child or adolescent psychologist may be able to suggest some helpful ideas and strategies.

Remember, changing or establishing parental discipline is a long, slow, often tedious, process. The important thing is to form a clear objective, then take a few steps at a time in that direction.