It was 3:52 p.m., in January of my first year. My students filed out of the classroom, scattering to their extracurriculars, not realizing the chaos and devastation they laid in their wake. In just 52 minutes, on what was supposed to be an exciting day one of a multi-day project, my seniors had rejected not only the ideas I presented to them, but also the idea of me being their teacher. For months, I had been repressing my feelings of insecurity and inferiority.
That afternoon, I broke—deeply questioning if I was meant to be a teacher. I cried for the entire half-hour drive back to the town I lived in, and then found myself on my bathroom floor, still crying.
Feeling helpless, feeling lost, I called my college mentor who was a fourth-year teacher, and poured my heart out. After 80 minutes of tears and affirmations, she said, “Rae, you are not able to reach them all, but you should never stop trying.”
Those words sit with me even to this day, and have made me realize there are other things I wish I’d known as a firstyear teacher. Here are 10 key insights I’ve gained over the years that still help me today, and hopefully will help you, too.
1. Read Your Contract
Know what you’re required to do and what you’re not contractually obligated to do. You can say no to things. It doesn’t make you any less of a teacher if you choose yourself, your happiness, and your time over doing a bunch of extras.
In our system, we reward those who overextend themselves with accolades and awards. But an exhausted educator isn’t good for students, and is more likely to burn out and leave the profession.
2. Do Not Pour from an Empty Cup
By the very nature of this profession, we embed pieces of our souls into our daily work. But when you overly invest emotionally, you burn the candle at both ends. This expectation of sacrifice is a systemic crisis. We cannot “self-care” our way out of it, and it very quickly leads to profound demoralization.
3. Cry, If You Want To.
You may try to hide your struggles, your pain, and your tears, because maybe you feel it makes you look weak and vulnerable when you want to feel intelligent and powerful. But showing emotion is a sign of strength and empowerment.
4. Protect and Make Space for Your Hobbies.
We do this weird thing when we become educators: We make teaching our identity, and we lose our sense of self, of who we were before we became teachers.
You cannot let your career consume your entire identity. Nurturing your hobbies isn’t a luxury, it is a necessity. Your well-being depends on having a life outside the classroom.
5. Refuse to Feel Guilt When You Are Doing Your Best.
On difficult days, it is okay if your 100 percent looks like someone else’s 50 percent. If the kids were safe, cared for, and managed to learn something, you did well enough. This is a grace we need to extend not only to ourselves as educators, but to our students as well.
6. Build lasting relationships that sustain you, not drain you.
Find your marigolds—the people who put nutrients back into your soil, like marigolds do. When you’ve got a bunch of marigolds surrounding you, you will have support when dealing with difficult conversations, classroom behaviors, unfair administrators, and so much more. For me, and hopefully you, that’s our union.
7. Don't Let the Fear of Consequence Keep You From Speaking Up and Speaking Your Truth.
Too often, newer educators fear speaking up and speaking out—even when they witness a clear educational injustice—because they worry about losing their jobs. Being part of the union doesn’t just secure your position; it protects your right to stand up. It strengthens your armor when you choose to do what is right, even if everyone else around you is doing what is wrong.
8. Remember the Support Professionals Who Are There to Support the Students—and You!
The people in your building have your back—whether they are custodians, secretaries, nutritionists, or serve in another staff role. Include them in every way you wish to be included.
9. Be Human.
When we step out from behind the curtain of perfection and show our students our humanity, we give them permission to do the same. Keep in mind that you’re shaping the youth who will inherit this world. Keep at it.
10. Get Involved.
Your voice matters. When you aren’t part of the conversation, decisions are made about you, not with you. If you don’t like the direction of your contract or a school program, you have to get involved. Work through your union to step up, make your voice heard, and drive the changes that directly affect you and your colleagues.
Bonus Item!
I was lucky. I joined NEA as an aspiring educator more than a decade ago, and knew to turn to the union during the hardest moments of my first year. Not everybody does—and we need to change that. So, my final piece of advice is for my peers, those of us who have found the power of the collective.
Find that early career educator, and be their marigold. You might just become the phone call they need to make on the hardest day of their career.
