These letters were written for NEA Today by Blue K., a transgender high school student in Virginia. Blue shares how his teachers, counselors, librarians, and school staff have supported him, and how educators in his school and across the country can help transgender students feel welcome. To protect Blue’s identity, only his first name and last initial are included in this article.
Dear School Support Staff,
I see you all making my school a nice place to be! You all are so friendly and kind to everyone, and I know you don’t get enough recognition for it. School nurses, cafeteria staff, security, attendance office workers—all of you make school a place worth going to, not just the teachers.
I appreciate it when you smile at me and say good morning in the line to get in every day. I appreciate that you actually talk to people as you walk by in the hallway, and make us each feel seen in our own little ways.
To the one attendance lady I probably scared because I told her I might pass out on the way to my blood-drawing appointment: I’m sorry and I promise I’m fine.
Thank you each for doing what you do. Without you, the building wouldn’t be the same place that I enjoy going to every day.
Appreciatively,
Blue
Dear Teachers,
Thank you for helping me see that I can be more than just my identity.
Yes, I am trans. I’m queer, and gender expansive, and generally not your average teenager. But I’m also a great writer, a great speaker, and a great stage manager for my theater group. I have interests in things outside the community, and you’ve helped nurture and guide the way to finding those things I love.
I’ve become a driving force in my journalism class, thanks to you. I’m an editor now, and no one there cares what my pronouns are. They do care if I know the Associated Press Stylebook front to back and that I will lay out their stories in a way that looks good. I write kickass essays, thanks to you, and I have the ability to help others with their writing. Grades for sure don’t care how you identify. They are completely unbiased and will grade you harshly even if you’re a cis white man. I am a trans man, and I get great grades that are supported by my work. That’s not because I’m a trans man—that’s because you taught me how to find my voice and my writing style.
No matter what your students are interested in, you’ve made sure those spaces exist—the spaces that show them they are so much more than just some trans kid, some queer kid. They can be anything they want, and they can be amazing at it.
Happily,
Blue
Dear Administrators,
Please, for the love of Mother Earth, give me more gender-neutral bathrooms. My school has just two that are open for students, and half the time they are locked. We have so many bathrooms for everyone else. People like me who don’t feel comfortable in either bathroom, girl’s or boy’s, need to pee, too.
You’d be surprised how good I am at holding my bladder. Bladder of steel, am I right? But I shouldn’t have to wait. Bathrooms should always be accessible; they should be a public right and resource. But since we cannot, should not, or will not go into the open bathrooms, every student like me gets far too good at it. Give us more bathrooms. Make it so that everyone can pee when they need to.
Holding it,
Blue
Dear Teachers,
Thanks for not making a big deal of respecting my pronouns. It makes me feel seen, and honestly, perceived correctly when I don’t have to worry about people taking 12 years to get my pronouns right. I see that you’re trying, and I really appreciate it.
I’ve had teachers in the past that, while trying their best, made a huge deal of it. In my seventh- grade year, I had a teacher that I had to correct almost every time he called on me. It got to a point where I corrected him before and after he called on me. After he still messed it up, he went on this huge spiel about how important it was to correct him every time—mind you, he messed up my pronouns during the huge spiel.
So, thanks for just … doing it. It makes a huge difference.
Feeling affirmed,
Blue
Dear Teachers,
Thanks for having your pronouns in your email block. Most institutions don’t require it, but you still do it, and every time you do, you normalize it. I don’t even know how you make an email bio, but you took the time to put your pronouns in there. Even if you’re cis, you know you have pronouns, and you’re proud of that. We love that for you.
With admiration,
Blue
Dear Counselors,
Thank you for helping me change my name on Schoology (Canvas, Google Classroom, etc.), even when I hadn’t legally changed it.
It’s such a small change, but having the name that I prefer on rosters, in discussion boards, on assignments I submit, and everything else that comes with a school name change, makes all the difference. I felt as if you were someone that I could talk to about that experience, and you made the transition as painless as possible.
Maybe it’s a harder process for some students in other school districts. I have no doubt it is. But it’s a process that is needed to affirm trans students. It may be a small difference for you and other students, but it’s a huge difference—a needed difference—for us.
Thankfully,
Blue
Dear Administrators,
Please give LGBTQ+ children representation in the books they read. Many books that are read in English classes have little to no representation for us, so the only place to can get them is the library.
Students like me should be able to see themselves in the future. Show us having good days where we find family and love in a place that actually affirms and supports us. Show us having bad days, because we all know the world is not built for us, but show us the support networks we have for days like that. Show us that we are able to survive and thrive, even in this country that seems dead set on wiping us out and not giving us that future.
Books are a way to show things like that. Make sure we can still have that representation.
With a lack of familiarity,
Blue
Dear Librarians,
Thank you for protecting the representation that is so needed for students of marginalized groups everywhere.
Throughout the country, you all are standing up to book bans and creating literature that shows the impacts and destructiveness of the laws and orders that have come through. It’s so important that we keep books that show marginalized people, especially the LGBTQ+ community, thriving in whatever they do. You, librarians, are guardians of knowledge and a safe space for students like me. You always have been, and know that I see you and aspire to have your level of badassery someday.
Thank you for supporting all the children that walk through your library doors. Whether you’re an elementary librarian or a secondary librarian, your space has always been somewhere that I believe I can be myself and read whatever I want to. It’s so important to protect representation, and I know you have my back.
See you in the local bookstore,
Blue
Dear Teachers,
Why don’t you start a Gay Straight Alliance (GSA), or whatever equivalent you have, at your school? If you have one already, maybe you could help sponsor it or work with them to create more knowledge about it. I know my GSA doesn’t have many members, but the members that do go are some of the kindest and most knowledgeable about our cause, and the teacher sponsor is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met.
Starting a club like this, or even just a Pride Club, whatever you want to call it, shows that you’re actively thinking about the community and wanting to help us find safe spaces within our school. God knows that we don’t have many active safe spaces, so in starting one you are creating that safe space. A GSA is a space to come out on a small scale, a space to find students and friends that have the same feelings you do. It’s a space to learn more about the community as a whole, and about yourself.
Who knows how many people you could find that were just looking for that little nudge to come out of their shell and show the world who they really are.
Openly,
Blue
Dear Teachers,
Ask questions about things you don’t understand. Whether it’s questions about my identity in particular or even the community as a whole, it shows that you care. You’re expanding your knowledge, and that means you can help stand up for us when the time comes.
Some people believe it’s not the marginalized group’s job to teach the majority, and they would be right. But some people in marginalized communities are willing to educate others, and those are the people you need to talk to. Almost every LGBTQ+ student you talk to will be willing and able to tell you about their lived experiences, if you’ve shown them that you’re supportive and will ask open questions.
Ask those questions. Make sure you ask them respectfully. But find students or colleagues that are willing to educate the educators about our community.
With answers waiting for questions,
Blue
Dear Teachers,
Teach our history!
Talk about Stonewall, why and how it happened! The first Pride Day was a riot, led by two Black trans women, and it’s not something students are commonly taught about.
Talk about the AIDs crisis! It’s so recent, and yet we still don’t have much of a conversation about it. Maybe that’s because we don’t have many modern history classes, but anytime is a good time to learn about the people impacted by AIDs, even at the end of the school year.
Talk about Harvey Milk, the first openly gay person to be elected to public office! He won a seat in the San Francisco Board of Supervisors in 1977 and then was assassinated out of office. He’s one of my favorite historical figures, and I’ve never heard him talked about in a class.
Even if you don’t know much about our history, talk about what’s happening today. It wasn’t until 2003 that the U.S. Supreme Court invalidated state laws that prohibited same-sex relationships. Gay marriage was only legalized in 2015. I’m sixteen, and I was six when Obergefell v. Hodges (the court case that legalized gay marriage) was heard. If I had been born any earlier, I may not have been able to marry who I want, or even be in an open relationship with them.
Talk about Sarah McBride, the first ever openly trans person to serve in Congress! She’s currently facing so much backlash and hatred just for her identity, despite being legally there and supported by her constituents.
In 2025 alone, as of the time of writing, 953 anti-trans bills have been proposed; 647 failed, but 186 are already active, and 120 have been passed. Out of the 953 bills, 306 are impacting our day to day lives. That’s over a third. Imagine how many more will be passed in the next six months.
Learn from our history and teach others about it. Talk about the history that is being made currently and impacting young LGBTQ+ lives across the country. Educate yourself and others.
Historically,
Blue
